IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving motorbikes or cars .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #motorbikes #cars
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It is argued by some
people
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 that the effective method to
gains
Wrong verb form
gain
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road
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 safety is adding the minimum legal
age
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 of driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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. In my opinion, increasing the standard
of
Change preposition
apply
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legal
age
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 could help to
gaining
Change the verb form
gain
show examples
road
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
safetyness
Correct your spelling
safety
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, increasing the standard
age
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 will lead to
road
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Use synonyms
safetyness
Correct your spelling
safety
. If many
people
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 understand that the
number
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 of
age
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 are
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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 for driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
Correct your spelling
it
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 could be as safety awareness for themselves.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 legal
age
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 should be as main concern
by
Change preposition
of
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 the government to help reduce the
number
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of accident
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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happened
Verb problem
apply
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cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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 by
people
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 who don't fully the standard
age
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 for driving.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 putting
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 legal
age
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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 will give drawbacks.
First,
Linking Words
people
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 will think twice
to get
Change preposition
about getting
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 their driving license because of the minimum
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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given by the
autorithies
Correct your spelling
authorities
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action will lead to
Use synonyms
safetyness
Correct your spelling
safety
 and help to decrease the
number
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 of
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 on the
road
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.
Second,
Linking Words
the
number
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 of
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age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 for
driving
Add an article
a driving
the driving
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 license
are
Change the verb form
is
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 crucial because it shows how mentally ready someone
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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driving
Wrong verb form
drive
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 on the
road
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.
Thefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it will become
wisely
Change the word
wise
show examples
 if anyone
who's
Unnecessary verb
who
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to
driving
Change the verb
drive
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 a motorbike or car
are
Change the verb form
is
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 fully the requirement
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 enough
age
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. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, before somebody
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to
driving
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
motorbikes
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 or
cars
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
road
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, they should pay attention to the
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 given
such
Linking Words
 as legal
age
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 because it will prevent bad
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 happens on the
road
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 that can become
loss
Add an article
a loss
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 to anyone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everybody should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of the legal
age
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 for driving that can lead them to
Use synonyms
safetyness
Correct your spelling
safety
 on the
road
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.
sentence structure
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examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
grammar and spelling
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can distract from the clarity of your message. Consider proofreading your essay to identify and correct these errors.
addressing the topic
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing a clear stance on the issue.
introduction and conclusion
You have a solid introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
relevance to topic
Your main points are relevant to the topic and demonstrate an understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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