IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the sources for UK tax revenue for last year and the total UK government spending for last year.

The pie charts below show the sources for UK tax revenue for last year and the total UK government spending for last year.
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The two pie charts demonstrate the variety of places
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 taxes were collected and
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 expenses of the
UK
Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
. In total, national insurance and income
tax
Use synonyms
 provide almost half of the taxes
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
government
Use synonyms
 uses huge
parts
Use synonyms
 of its money on education, pensions and health care.
To begin
Linking Words
, there are 8 sources for gaining
tax
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 and income
tax
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 is the biggest share with 28
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, value-added
tax
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 and national insurance have the next ranks.
In addition
Linking Words
, three
parts
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 of council
tax
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, business rate and fuel duty are the least among all of them and they were only 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cooperation
tax
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 and other sources have about one-fifth of shares.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
UK
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government
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 spent one-fifth of its income on pensions. Meanwhile, healthcare, education and welfare have quotes close to the pensions in percentages about 18, 14 and 17.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, four other
parts
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 like protection, transport etc. have the least investment on them. It is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that about one-tenth of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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uses
Wrong verb form
is used
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 for issues. In short, the
UK
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government
Use synonyms
 have three huge and in total 8 origins for gaining
tax
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whereas
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, spent its money on 10 different sections and
dedicate
Wrong verb form
dedicated
show examples
 about 70
pecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of it to only 4
parts
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, government, tax, parts with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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