nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

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In recent years,

although

Linking Words

computers bring about various benefits, it has emerged as one of the vital threats to

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

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This

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essay will

exert

Verb problem

describe

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detrimental

Correct article usage

the detrimental

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ramifications of playing computer games and propose strategies to alleviate these adverse effects. The primary

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

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associated with sitting for extended periods playing games can lead to sedentary

lifestyles

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyle

show examples

which

contributing

Wrong verb form

contributes

show examples

to obesity and health issues.

For example

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, excessive screen time paves the way for disruption of sleep and strain eyes, affecting

overall

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well-being detrimentally.

Moreover

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, gaming has been linked to social isolation and the deterioration of communication skills among

children

Use synonyms

. When

children

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spend prolonged periods in game worlds, they may withdraw from real-life social interactions and they may experience difficulties forming and maintaining friendships,

collaborating

Correct word choice

and collaborating

show examples

in group settings.

For instance

Linking Words

significant

Correct article usage

the significant

show examples

prevalence of gaming in South Korea results in

disruption

Correct article usage

the disruption

show examples

of social and interpersonal skills. One potential solution to address the issue of excessive gaming is parents'

supporting

Replace the word

support

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. They play a pivotal role

for

Change preposition

show examples

putting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

limits

Change preposition

show examples

screen time and encouraging

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apply

show examples

diverse activities including outdoor play, sports and joining clubs. Parents should

promote

Verb problem

encourage

show examples

children

Use synonyms

reading

Replace the word

read

show examples

because books can help develop their literacy skills, expand their knowledge, and foster a love for learning.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, governments should invest in educational institutions as technology can hinder the allocating

enough

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of enough

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time for education and prevent learning knowledge. Governments should

also

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organize volunteer activities as

this

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type of

creations

Fix the agreement mistake

creation

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can help empathy, and social responsibility

while

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providing a sense of collaboration. In conclusion, computer games are a major complication for health problems and social isolation

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

may be prevented by the parents’ control and governments' regulations.

bhoswritingMon Apr 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider diversifying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Using a variety of complex and compound sentences can make your essay more dynamic.

task achievement

To bolster your argument, include more specific, real-life examples that directly support your points. This will add depth to your essay and make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure consistency in verb tense throughout your essay for clearer timelines and narratives.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task with relevant ideas.

coherence cohesion

You have a logical flow of ideas, making your argument easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, framing your arguments well.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
eye strain
inappropriate content
social skills
isolation
academic performance
time limits
parental supervision
age-appropriate
physical activities
digital literacy
balanced computer usage
excessive gaming

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nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

You travelled by a long distance bus recently and your suitcase was damaged. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter •Inform the bus company of when and to where you travelled •Describe your suitcase and what happened to it •Explain why the company should pay for a new suitcase

You planned to go camping with your brother, but unfortunately, your brother can’t make it. Write a letter to your friend to invite him/her to go with you. You should explain 1)What has happened 2)The details about this camping trip 3)What your friend should do if he/she wants to go with you.

The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little c can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that completion is betther tahen collaboration while other have different perspective. Discuss both view and tell your own

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