IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Now in our days,
everyone
 meets a bad
situation
such
 as an unlikely
job
 or problems with money, and there are some people who believe that in
this
situation
 the best thing we can do is to accept the
situation
,
while
 other people argue that the best choice is to try harder and improve your
life
. I personally believe that
everyone
 should try to make their lives better and never stop until achieve their goals. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both of these views. On the one hand, it will be a good idea to accept a bad
job
, because accepting
this
 bad
job
, later on, you will start to appreciate more little things being used to have a bad
job
 or problems with money. Learning how to accept the bad situations in your
life
, will make you more powerful, it will be easier for you to override any
situation
 compared to other people who have
such
 a good
job
 all the time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or never have problems with money.
On the other hand
, I believe that a bad
situation
 should always motivate
everyone
 to find a solution until they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
achieve their goals in
life
. Trying always to improve yourself and find solutions, will make you a fighter and it will be easier to move on, no matter what happens or what obstacles
life
 will bring to you, fighting all the time will make you find solutions anytime faster.
To conclude
,
everyone
 meets bad and good situations in their
life
 and all the time I think that the best idea is to try to fight and try to improve everything in your
life
, to try to be always the best version of yourself and never stop until your goals will be reached.
Submitted by atomoiaga46 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Remember to proofread your work to avoid small grammatical and syntactic errors, such as article usage and verb agreement.
vocabulary
To further improve, try incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and syntactical structures to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
content
Including more specific examples and insights can add depth to your argument, making it more compelling.
structure
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, discussion of both viewpoints, and a conclusion.
task response
You've successfully addressed the prompt by discussing both views and providing your own opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence
Your essay flows logically from one idea to the next, which makes it easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: