New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

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It is a known fact that technological innovations have revolutionised the way younger

generation

Use synonyms

utilise their spare time.

While

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there are a few benefits, the drawbacks exceed them and will be discussed

further

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. The advent of technology has played a crucial role in the thought process of the current

generation

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. A recent article in the newspaper stated that online applications like Roblox improve problem-solving skills in

children

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. These applications enhance critical thinking capabilities as well.

Also

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, online classes on platforms

such

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as Zoom have saved both, time and energy for

this

Linking Words

generation

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However

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, a recent study has revealed that almost half of the current

generation

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suffers from physical problems like obesity. There has been a

surprise

Replace the word

surprising

show examples

increase in the number of heart-related conditions in

children

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Moreover

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, explicit content on the internet is now readily available and

children

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are not psychologically equipped to handle them.

Additionally

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, violent and distressing content may

also

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increase suicidal tendencies in

children

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. Studies have shown that toddlers who have heavy screen time suffer from premature ageing of their

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

This

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can lead to depression. In conclusion,

while

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technological advancement has benefited toddlers in a few ways, the disadvantage of

this

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change is profoundly more significant.

This

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shift toward digital innovation will clearly lead

children

Use synonyms

towards various physical and mental disorders in the future.

Submitted by niravfb1987 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure your essay presents a balanced argument if the question asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Both sides should be explored with equal depth before reaching a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points, which will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Be cautious not to overstate or generalize issues without adequate evidence or support. This can make your argument less credible.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion which aids understanding.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt directly, making sure to answer the question posed.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of topic-specific vocabulary related to technology and its impact on children.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.