IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about news events. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages？

#media #people #touch #news #events #disadvantages？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Use synonyms
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of various online
platforms
Use synonyms
 for connectivity and staying updated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current affairs is the new normal in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 every new technology has its pros and cons,
this
Linking Words
 essay with outline how these
platforms
Use synonyms
 are a boon to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind. The downside of constantly being online on
such
Linking Words
platforms
Use synonyms
 takes a toll on the general
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 of an individual in terms of mental and physical health. People
use
Use synonyms
 the internet for unproductive activity for long hours, leading to health issues like diminishing eyesight, stress, anxiety and back pain. Spending unnecessary time on
such
Linking Words
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 separates them from the actual physical
world
Use synonyms
. A recent study by
statistics
Capitalize word
Statistics
show examples
 India claimed that an average Indian enjoys a screen time of approximately 4 hours a day, which has
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
 effect on their health. On the flip side, the advent of the internet has brought the
world
Use synonyms
 closer. People can now stay constantly in touch with their loved ones who are in distant
land
Fix the agreement mistake
lands
show examples
. Emotions and information throughout the
world
Use synonyms
 globe and be shared with the click of a few buttons. People are able to express their views and
thought
Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
show examples
 on a topic in a better way. Individuals, corporations and governments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 these
platforms
Use synonyms
 to share important data in a matter of seconds. Important news,
fact
Fix the agreement mistake
facts
show examples
 and figures spread like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wild fire
Correct your spelling
wildfire
show examples
 these days. A common man today is well informed about their rights
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so deceiving them was a thing of the past. Social media is the new weapon to bring a revolution in the society. A recent article in the Hindustan
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
 claims that
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of social media has brought down corruption by 20% at the bureaucratic level.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though there are a few downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using social
platforms
Use synonyms
, the productive impact
this
Linking Words
 technology has brought
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the human society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 astronomical.
Submitted by niravfb1987 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Punctuation and Grammar
Always double-check your essay for minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance clarity.
Lexical Resource
To further improve your score, consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to demonstrate a wider linguistic range.
Task Response
Consider a balanced discussion by addressing the disadvantages in detail equal to the advantages to fully meet the task requirements.
Structure
You have done an excellent job in presenting a well-structured essay, with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Supporting Examples
Your essay effectively uses examples to support the points made, which makes your arguments more convincing.
Topic Relevance
You successfully maintained topic relevance throughout the essay, keeping the discussion focused on the impacts of social media.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: