IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are plenty of different schedules around the world, yet the most popular is when Saturday and Sunday are weekends. It has been relevant for decades,
however
Linking Words
, people’s plans and development only grow,
while
Linking Words
in contrast
Linking Words
 their abilities remain the same. From my perspective,
rest
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 should be longer or more logically structured,
due to
Linking Words
 the absence of equilibrium between energy spend and energy recharge.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, as was already mentioned before, the World does not stay in the same place for long, it continually evolves, and requires more forces and resources to support changes. Humans definitely need more energy to take all those aspects qualitatively, and
as a result
Linking Words
, more
time
Use synonyms
 to vacation. We can easily see the example of
such
Linking Words
 a phenomenon, where with the growing amount of information, lack of vacation
time
Use synonyms
 destructively ruins the person’s organism. Investigations show, that for primary scholars, it is much easier to perceive the information, and every year of
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
, takes more
time
Use synonyms
 to perceive it. Two
days
Use synonyms
 might be enough for scholars,
however
Linking Words
, it causes significant immunity changes,
such
Linking Words
 as a vitamin decrease.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a greater number of weekends, at least three, and a structured system,
for instance
Linking Words
, 2
days
Use synonyms
 of work of study and one day of
rest
Use synonyms
, can increase the productivity rate and bring more benefits for the study
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 or workplace.
According to
Linking Words
 a survey in the Society of Engineers in 2022, the schedule where they go to work 2/1, leaves them more
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with family, friends, and of course for them in general. They
rest
Use synonyms
 more and the release of happiness hormones is normalized,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to two
days
Use synonyms
 once a week.
Moreover
Linking Words
, citizens who do not
rest
Use synonyms
 enough are more likely to experience cancer and other illnesses, because of the amount of stress they experience. In conclusion, every person is allowed to choose his own plan to work,
however
Linking Words
, the government should provide a smart system, where employees will be allowed to choose the most convenient schedule for them personally.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly relates back to your main argument about the need for a shorter working week and longer weekends. Sometimes transitions between points may not fully connect one idea to another.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are well-explained and connect directly to your points. For instance, elaborate on how the survey results specifically impact the argument for longer weekends.
positive
Your essay has strong supporting ideas and insightful observations about the challenges of the current work-life balance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: