More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

In
this
era of globalization, youngsters tend to move to other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
to pursue their higher education.
This
essay will uncover why the benefits of studying abroad outweigh its drawbacks. It is evident that when it comes to education, individuals will choose where they pursue their next academic program wisely, ensuring it offers improvements over their
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
educational experiences.
Therefore
, the young generation is often drawn into living in areas where they obtained their degrees,
opt
Correct word choice
and opt
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to
Change preposition
for
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promising
career
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careers
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and higher earnings to
achieved
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achieve
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a better quality of life than in their home
country
.
Consequently
,
this
situation will
caused
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cause
be caused
show examples
problems in their origin
such
as employee shortages. Higher educational generations are valuable to their
country
, they could help tackle various problems in many different ways
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on what
ajor
Correct your spelling
major
they have
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
. Take Indonesia
for example
, it has a
full
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fully
show examples
funded scholarship that could send a great number of potential specialized doctors in the future and once they have finished their education, they can
served
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serve
be served
show examples
back to the community that
needed
Verb problem
apply
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by taking
charges
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charge
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in remote areas.
To sum up
, giving a chance for students to
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
a higher academic program in another
country
is a great option to create generations with global educational enrichment in solving government issues with their specialities.
In addition
, in order to
creates
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create
show examples
Correct article usage
a bound
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bound
Correct your spelling
bond
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between the
country
and
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
students in other countries,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
could offer better career positions and earnings to attract back their youngsters.
Submitted by Practicexoxo on

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Grammar and Spelling
Ensure to check for typographical and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your essay. For instance, 'pervious' should be 'previous', 'opt to' could be more appropriately written as 'often pursue' for clarity, and 'majors' instead of 'ajor'.
Vocabulary and Sentence Structure
Consider diversifying your sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the sophistication of your writing. While your essay is well-structured, utilizing a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary could further enrich your expression.
Argument Enhancement
To strengthen your argument, it could be beneficial to also discuss more concretely how the disadvantages can be mitigated or are less significant compared to the advantages.
Clear Argument
Your essay provides a clear, concise argument that the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages, which is well supported through relevant examples.
Effective use of Examples
You effectively use examples, like the scholarship program in Indonesia, to illustrate and support your points, giving your essay credibility and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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