More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #move #countries #study #education #outweigh

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

era of globalization, youngsters tend to move to other

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

to pursue their higher education.

This

Linking Words

essay will uncover why the benefits of studying abroad outweigh its drawbacks. It is evident that when it comes to education, individuals will choose where they pursue their next academic program wisely, ensuring it offers improvements over their

pervious

Correct your spelling

show examples

educational experiences.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the young generation is often drawn into living in areas where they obtained their degrees,

opt

Correct word choice

and opt

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

promising

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and higher earnings to

achieved

Change the form of the verb

achieve

show examples

a better quality of life than in their home

country

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation will

caused

Change the verb form

cause

be caused

show examples

problems in their origin

such

Linking Words

as employee shortages. Higher educational generations are valuable to their

country

Use synonyms

, they could help tackle various problems in many different ways

depends

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

on what

ajor

Correct your spelling

major

they have

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

. Take Indonesia

for example

Linking Words

, it has a

full

Change the adjective

fully

show examples

funded scholarship that could send a great number of potential specialized doctors in the future and once they have finished their education, they can

served

Change the verb form

serve

be served

show examples

back to the community that

needed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

by taking

charges

Fix the agreement mistake

charge

show examples

in remote areas.

To sum up

Linking Words

, giving a chance for students to

pursuing

Wrong verb form

pursue

show examples

a higher academic program in another

country

Use synonyms

is a great option to create generations with global educational enrichment in solving government issues with their specialities.

In addition

Linking Words

, in order to

creates

Change the verb

create

show examples

Correct article usage

a bound

show examples

bound

Correct your spelling

bond

show examples

between the

country

Use synonyms

and

theirs

Correct the word

their

show examples

students in other countries,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

could offer better career positions and earnings to attract back their youngsters.

Submitted by Practicexoxo on Mon Apr 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling

Ensure to check for typographical and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity of your essay. For instance, 'pervious' should be 'previous', 'opt to' could be more appropriately written as 'often pursue' for clarity, and 'majors' instead of 'ajor'.

Vocabulary and Sentence Structure

Consider diversifying your sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the sophistication of your writing. While your essay is well-structured, utilizing a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary could further enrich your expression.

Argument Enhancement

To strengthen your argument, it could be beneficial to also discuss more concretely how the disadvantages can be mitigated or are less significant compared to the advantages.

Clear Argument

Your essay provides a clear, concise argument that the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages, which is well supported through relevant examples.

Effective use of Examples

You effectively use examples, like the scholarship program in Indonesia, to illustrate and support your points, giving your essay credibility and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

241 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In number of countries, some People think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing New railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that building New railway lines for New generation trains needs huge investments, while others say that better to invest money to transport which is already exist. While public transportation system has less efficiency, I believe that is better to attract public taxes to constract developed railway.
5
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The reductions in public transport fees and government investment in transport sector will be helpful in order to reduce emissions significantly. While most of motor vehicles are responsible for the increase of pollution, public transport would change the paradigms of the people to shift into reliable transport facilities and reduce the road traffic. I agree with the statement and this essay explain my possession.
5
band
In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?
In certain countries around the globe, younger generation are refusing to vote. This essay will examine particular causes of this trend and possible solutions of this issue.
4
band
Some people argue that social media platforms are essential for communication and staying connected, while others believe that they pose a threat to personal privacy. On which position do you stand? Discuss the supporting ideas for your chosen position.
In the era of advanced communication technology, the role of social media has become a subject of debate. Advocates argue that these platforms serve as indispensable tools for fostering connections and maintaining relationships. Social media facilitates instant communication, allowing individuals to share life updates, engage in discussions, and bridge geographical gaps.
5.5
band
Task 2. Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The issue of living in metropolitan areas is decreasing people's health has heightened interest of many people nowaday. In my opinion, I would consider myself an advocate of this statement.

More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In number of countries, some People think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing New railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people argue that social media platforms are essential for communication and staying connected, while others believe that they pose a threat to personal privacy. On which position do you stand? Discuss the supporting ideas for your chosen position.

Task 2. Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?