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In the 21st century humans prefer to talk on social media and think it is the best way to meet. From my point of view, despite it disposal of the host of offline meetings it is able to save a large amount of time for humans.

#st #century #humans #media #point #host #offline #meetings #amount #time
In the 21st
century
Add a comma
century,
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 humans prefer to talk on social media and think it is the best way to meet. From my point of view, despite
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 disposal of the host of offline
meetings
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meetings,
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 it is able to save a large amount of time for humans. Nowadays, we are living in a world where is technology developed enough for a generation who wants to communicate without leaving their home.
Also
, people think it separates us from the word view. Siting only at home and connecting our life with the internet easily able to
limit
Wrong verb form
limits
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 us because, if a person connects his life with only
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 he may be not able to process without electricity or
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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which depend on
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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. Mainly it makes a person dependent. For example, the research of scientists proves that, if individuals
siting
Verb problem
sit
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 in their comfort zone and limit their lives to online networks their horizons will not expand. Despite, the all negatives
about
Change preposition
of
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 online residence it can help
for
Change preposition
apply
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a host of individuals with disabilities work at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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home and earn money.
In addition
, to
this
, it is useful for busy persons to save time because they may be capable of finishing work in their location and deal many projects with abroad companies. What is more, it may be useful and protect much of aliveness.
For instance
, in 2019 we faced to virus which spread by air
for
this
 reason many educational systems used
such
 kinds of zooms and continued study. On top of it saves much aliveness.
To conclude
, there are a lot of advantages than negatives. From my point of view
Add a comma
,
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bad communication can not be the reason for limiting us from the media.
Submitted by ieltsielts81 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay is carefully organized, with clear paragraphs, each representing a distinct idea or argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your main ideas more fully with specific examples and explanations for greater clarity and impact.
Task Achievement
Attempt to address all parts of the prompt equally, to provide a balanced and comprehensive discussion of the topic.
General
Watch for minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes; proofreading your work can enhance its overall quality.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have clearly introduced your main topic and concluded your essay, providing a sense of closure.
Use of Examples
The examples you've provided (e.g., the reference to online work for people with disabilities, Zoom for education during the pandemic) help to ground your arguments in real-world scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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