IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that TV is a source of information and education. Others believe that TV is useful for entertainment only. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #tv #source #information #education #entertainment
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One
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 of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
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use
Add an article
the use
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 of TV as some
people
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 believe that television is a source of information and education
whereas
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 others represent the notion that it is used for entertainment purposes only. The argument about whether
this
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 screen is only entertaining
the
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apply
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people
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 or helping
people
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 to educate has been gathering momentum across the world in recent times. It is completely agreed that it has brought
the
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apply
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revolutionary changes in
habitants
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habitants'
habitant's
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 lives as
people
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 can entertain them just by a single click from
variety
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a variety
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 of sources. In
this
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 essay, I will
further
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 elaborate
both
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on both
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the
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apply
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views and
thus
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 will represent a logical conclusion.
To begin
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 with, there are a number of reasons why
people
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 support that TV is a source of entertainment only. The most preponderant
one
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 stems from the fact that its
use
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 depends on
human
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the human
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 mind only as
one
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 can access
number
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a number
the number
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 of channels on it. The masses
use
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 it for watching movies, listening to music, enjoying different dramas, serials, news and many more reasons.
For example
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, most of the resources on
this
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multi talented
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multi-talented
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 screen demonstrate the ways to entertain
public
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the public
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 to increase their
popoularity
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popularity
 as
masses
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the masses
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 rarely
use
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 them for education purposes.
As a result
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, it is evident that most of the
times
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time
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 human beings
use
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 it to pass their free time.
Furthermore
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, it can be taken into account that there are habitants who
use
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 it
nourish
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to nourish
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 their educational skills.
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Although
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However
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, many
people
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 have challenged
this
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 claim on the grounds that
this
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 screen
distract
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distracts
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people
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continuing
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from continuing
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 their work, especially kids.
For instance
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, kids can take enough knowledge from the
discovery channel
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Discovery Channel
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,
on the other hand
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, it can take them away from their
self study
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self-study
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 hours after school.
As a consequence
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, it is apparent why it is difficult to decide the main purpose of
this
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 platform. In a nutshell,
one
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 can conclude that every object has its advantages and
disdvantages
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disadvantages
 like a coin which has two sides.
Moreover
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, it depends on humans to choose the right side for them as both education and entertainment are necessary in
human's
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human
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 life and it is not possible to neglect
one
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 for another.
Submitted by kaurv083 on

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction provides a brief overview of both views and clearly states your opinion. This will set the stage for a well-structured essay.
Body Paragraphs
Develop your main points by elaborating on each view with specific examples and reasons. Your essay discusses each perspective well, but adding more detailed examples will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, it's beneficial to succinctly summarize the views discussed and reiterate your opinion. Make sure your conclusion ties back directly to the essay question, providing a clear stance.
Language Use
For a higher score, vary your sentence structures and use a range of vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency. While your essay is coherent, varied language use will make it more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English.
Content
You presented a balanced view, discussing both opinions on the use of TV for education and entertainment. Your balanced approach is appreciated and aligns well with the task requirements.
Structure
Your essay structure is clear, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization aids in the reader's understanding and follows a logical progression.
Coherence & Cohesion
You utilized linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences, which enhances the flow of your essay. This coherence is essential for reader comprehension.
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