The most important decision is that young people have to follow is what career to choose. Do you agreeor disagree?

#decision #people #career #agreeor

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It is argued that choosing a profession is the most crucial decision that youngsters should follow.

This

essay agrees that it is essential for youths to

choosw

Correct your spelling

choose

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

pathway.

Firstly

this

will guide them to achieving their future aspirations and

secondly

Add a comma

secondly,

show examples

it will offer them an opportunity of working overseas.

To begin

with, it is of great importance as a young person to decide on which occupation will fit you as it enables you to

work

on the skills required.

This

is to say that, every field of

work

has distinct core requirements for one to qualify working efficiently.

For instance

, the medical field needs someone to be

knowledgable

Correct your spelling

knowledgeable

show examples

in Biology and Mathematics.

Therefore

, one needs to study and pass

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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subjects well before joining

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

or college. If they don't do well,

then

theywill

Correct your spelling

they will

automatically not succeed in the profession of medicine.

Additionally

, it is clear employment opportunities vary in different careers. By

this

I mean, some jobs are more

markatable

Correct your spelling

marketable

than others.

Proffessions

Correct your spelling

Professions

Professionals

such

as nursing and education are known to have massive job opportunities.

For example

, nurses are required Internationally. Once a nurse completes

there

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their

show examples

studies they can

work

anywhere around the world since advertisements

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

career are seen in the daily newsletters.

On the contrary

, a certificate in human resource management will not be as valuable since we have very few slots. As an example, a particular organization may require only one manager but at the same time employ many people in cadres

such

as clinical officers.

To conclude

, I concur with the phenomenon that settling on an occupation to follow is the most significant thing that teenagers can do

due to

the reasons given above namely; to get

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apply

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perfect guidance on a particular job and

provision

Correct article usage

the provision

show examples

of an opportunity to

work

abroad.

Submitted by rebecckwamboka96 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Introduction

You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear stance on the argument, which is commendable. However, ensuring a more precise thesis statement could enhance clarity.

Logical Structure

Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with clear main ideas presented in each paragraph. Improving transitions between ideas can make the flow even smoother.

Support and Examples

You've included relevant examples to support your main points. To further improve, ensure the examples are detailed and directly linked to the argument for stronger impact.

Language Accuracy

Watch out for minor errors in spelling, grammar, and word choice. While they do not significantly hinder understanding, polishing these can elevate the overall quality of your writing.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your agreement with the statement. Ensure that it also echoes the intensity of your argument throughout the essay.

Examples

Good use of relevant examples to support arguments

Structure

Clear structure and organization of essay

Introduction & Conclusion

Effective introduction and conclusion sections

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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The most important decision is that young people have to follow is what career to choose. Do you agreeor disagree?

Your opinion

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Whoever controls the media controls the mind. Discuss this statement and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world,rural people are Moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.