Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

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It is often said by some human beings that old

people

Use synonyms

should be managed by the government,

while

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others believe that it is mandatory that family should take care of them. In my opinion, the latter proportion appears to be more rational.

This

Linking Words

essay will highlight the both above-mentioned views in the upcoming paragraphs with proper explanation

thus

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will lead to a logical Conclusion. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, if the government does not focus on the elderly population, it will impact their lives. To elucidate it, it is mandatory that the government should provide support to

people

Use synonyms

, aged above 65, whether it can be psychological or financial. A pension system,

for example

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, should be introduced so that

people

Use synonyms

cannot depend on others to fulfil their basic requirements ( clothes and medicine).

As a result

Linking Words

this

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amendment represents a breeding ground for improving their quality of life. Moving towards the latter notion, some individuals opine that family is the basic need for an aged person, as members of a family share a great bond with each other. To be more precise, the family is the

one

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, to better understand the needs of their family member. To epitome, if any member of the family is suffering from depression

then

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other members of the family provide psychological support by encouraging the depressed

one

Use synonyms

to vent his or her feelings.

Hence

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, aged families will surely get care from the

people

Use synonyms

with whom they are surrounded. In conclusion,

although

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the authority will surely help the aged

one

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by providing finances.

However

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, the physical and psychological needs are only fulfilled by the individuals nearer to them.

harmanpreetkaurbumrah12Sun Sep 10 2023

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General Improvement

To enhance your essay's clarity, consider using simpler language to make your points more accessible to all readers.

Vocabulary Usage

Revisiting commonly confused terms and ensuring your choice of words precisely conveys your intended meaning can further strengthen your essay.

Sentence Variety

Incorporating a wider range of sentence structures can add variety to your writing and keep the reader engaged.

Task Achievement

Efficiently outlined both perspectives and provided a clear personal viewpoint, demonstrating excellent task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay showed a strong logical structure, with a coherent flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Content Support

You effectively used examples to support your main points, enriching the content and illustrating your arguments vividly.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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