IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology #points
While
 it is true that
history
 is one of the most essential subjects in schools,it is difficult to determine whether in
this
 modern
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 some individuals think that subjects like
sience
Correct your spelling
science
 and
technology
 are more important. On the one hand,being
knoledgeable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
 about
history
 speaks to your level of education.It can be clearly observed that in more developed countries
history
 is very essential,
for instance
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 or UK
history
 is the most crucial title that directs for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bright future.
Besides
,the
history
 of Armenia is filled with rich historical pages and experience demonstrates that knowing the
history
 of your
ansectors
Correct your spelling
ancestors
 helps you become wise and avoid repeating their mistakes.
On the other hand
,
sience
Correct your spelling
science
since
 and
technology
 are absolutely necessary in today's
world
.Think about how smartphones ,the internet and medical advancements have transformed.
Sience
Correct your spelling
Science
 and
technology
 make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 easier
Moreover
, technological innovations have had outstanding impacts on people's daily lives all over the
world
. A good example is the
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 of Covid-19 vaccines. We have witnessed a number of people dying. With the invention of these vaccines, doctors and scientists have saved lives, thanks to
technology
. In conclusion,
although
 both factors have their own
impications
Correct your spelling
implications
,I think learning about both
history
 and science or
technology
 is super important in school. They help us understand the past, present, and future better. If we learn about both, we will be ready to handle all sorts of things in the
world
 around us. So, having a mix of
history
 and science or
technology
 in school is very essential.
Submitted by vardanyaninna10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Accuracy
Be sure to proofread your essay for minor spelling or grammatical errors. Correcting these will make your arguments clearer and more professional.
Balance in Discussion
Try to balance the length and detail of your paragraphs when discussing both sides of the argument. Ensure that both perspectives are equally explored to maintain a balanced discussion.
Sentence Variety
Incorporate more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your essay. Using a range of complex sentences can demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Understanding of Prompt
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic, showing both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion.
Use of Examples
You used relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: