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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. ‎Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

#countries #food #‎do #outweigh
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Nowadays, junk
food
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 is becoming less expensive and more popular in various countries around the world. From my point of view, I support the idea that fast
food
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 is harmful and should be used under limited moderation.
According to
Linking Words
 the advantages, convenience
food
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 helps save time and effort, especially for officers and students. Many people use convenience
food
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 as an alternative to the main meal because it is a quick and easy meal option.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with affordable prices, junk
food
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 matches with economic capacity.
For example
Linking Words
, busy people and students offer to pay for convenient meals,
instead
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 of healthy
food
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.
On the other hand
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, junk
food
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 can cause health problems if people rely on them. Fast
food
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such
Linking Words
 as fried chicken, hamburgers, or pizza, etc contain low
fiber
Change the spelling
fibre
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, but high energy and carbohydrates, which may lead to obesity, heart attacks, and diabetes.
Therefore
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, they can impact both the healthcare system and the finances of society as a whole.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, instant meals
also
Linking Words
 affect people’s living conditions. Single-use containers have low recyclability, so they may bring about high global warming potential and destroy the ozone layer. In
conclude
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conclusion
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 fast
food
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 is convenient and quick, and suitable for busy life nowadays, it can silently harm people’s health in the future.
Submitted by phuongdungnurse on

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task achievement
Be more specific with your examples. Instead of simply mentioning that busy people and students prefer fast food, you could provide a more detailed scenario or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and connectors. This will make your arguments more dynamic and engaging.
task achievement
Consider introducing a counterargument paragraph to thoroughly discuss the advantages before explaining why the disadvantages outweigh them. This structure can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, effectively addressing the question.
coherence cohesion
You've done an excellent job linking your paragraphs logically, which helps in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, emphasizing the main idea of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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