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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

The issue of personal
happiness
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 has become a prominent point of contention in modern discourse. One camp argues that
happiness
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 is directly linked to economic
success
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,
while
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 another believes it depends on entirely different
factors
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. In my opinion, individual
happiness
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 is influenced by various aspects, not just the economy. Supporters of the idea that
happiness
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 depends on economic
success
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 contend that having enough money allows individuals to access excellent resources in life.
This
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 perspective is rooted in the belief that earning money plays a crucial role in society. They argue that economic
success
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 can provide better healthcare, a higher quality of life, and substantial educational opportunities. Proponents of
this
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 view believe it creates a stable living environment and effectively addresses the challenges faced by the less fortunate.
Therefore
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, they see the relationship between personal
happiness
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 and economic
success
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 as a viable solution to societal issues.
On the other hand
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, those who advocate for considering other
factors
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 in the pursuit of personal
happiness
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emphasize
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emphasise
show examples
 mental well-being as a fundamental aspect of alleviating anxiety and stress from daily life. Many people find joy in spending time with family, friends, and even pets, which contributes to their
overall
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 satisfaction.
Additionally
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, there is a growing public interest in spiritual values,
such
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 as volunteer work and connecting with nature. Supporters of
this
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 perspective argue that a variety of
factors
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 significantly influence one's mood and sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
. In conclusion, both economic
success
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 and alternative
factors
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 present compelling arguments regarding personal
happiness
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. After considering both sides, I believe that
happiness
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 is interconnected with not only economic stability but
also
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 various other influences.
While
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 the economy has its merits, a more balanced approach incorporates multiple
factors
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 to address the issue of personal
happiness
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.

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development
Add real examples from life or news to back up each view.
structure
Make ideas more specific and link each point to your main view.
language
Use short, simple sentences for clear meaning.
structure
Clear plan with an 'for and against' view and your own position.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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