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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for 2025. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the movement of people from rural to urban areas in three countries and predictions for 2025. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates data about how individuals migrated from underdeveloping to developing places for a 25-year time period in three different geographical locations.
Overall
, all three countries increased,
although
, Indonesia is predicted to show no movement in the foreseeable future. The most notable observation upon first analyzing the information is the dramatic upsurge in Iran, and it is
also
 predicted that there will be a significant increase in the future.
Additionally
, Iran started with about 8
million
 migrants in 2000, which is estimated to grow to approximately 95
million
 people in 2025.
Furthermore
, the majority of migrants were from Russia at 15
million
 in 2000; it is predicted that
this
 number will grow to 88
million
 by 2025.
Thus
, Russia and Iran are positively correlated as both will increase.
Lastly
, people from Indonesia moved at a gradual pace, which ballooned by more than double from 2000 to 2020,
however
, it is indicated that people will not continue to move from rural to urban areas in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by jessicajreichel on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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