The three pie chart illustrate howmany hours students spend in the library in British university.

The three pie chart illustrate howmany hours students spend in the library in British university.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The three pie chart illustrate howmany hours students spend in the library in British university.
The given pie charts show the proportion of students by time spent in the
library
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at
the
Correct article usage
a
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British university.
Overall
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, "1 to 7" was the largest segment among undergraduates
while
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"15+" was the most comprised segment among postgraduates.
To begin
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with, in respect of all students, half of the students spent 1 to 7
hours
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in the
library
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.
Following
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this
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, 35% answered 8 to 14
hours
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, and only 15% stayed in the
library
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for more than 15
hours
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. When it comes to the undergraduates, 63% of them studied or read books in the
library
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from 1 to 7
hours
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.
Moreover
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, 28% of them answered 8 to 14
hours
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, and only 9% stayed in the
library
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over 15
hours
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.
However
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, almost half of the postgraduates(51%) spent more than 15
hours
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a day in the
library
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.
Following
Linking Words
this
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, 8 to 14
hours
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comprised 32% and 1 to 7
hours
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constituted only 17%.
To sum up
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, the postgraduates tend to stay longer in the
library
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compared to the undergraduates.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "following this".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words library, hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
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