Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are theadvantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?
Some adults
are
buy their Unnecessary verb
apply
offsprings
a large Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
amount
of Change the quantifier
number
toys
, this
essay will uncover the advantages and disadvantages of the given notion.
It is obvious that children are happy when they received
Wrong verb form
receive
toys
from their parents
. Nevertheless
having many types of playing tools might isolated
an individual by not willing to play outside with their peers Change the verb form
isolate
especially
for only Add the comma(s)
, especially
child
. Fix the agreement mistake
children
For example
, a
Correct the article-noun agreement
parents
a parent
parents
who spoiled
their child by giving him Playstation, Pump it Up and various Wrong verb form
spoil
type
of game gadgets at home tend to indulge in their own world, because of poor time management, lack of Fix the agreement mistake
types
self awareness
and Add a hyphen
self-awareness
dicipline
. Correct your spelling
discipline
Consequently
, this
kid might disobey their parents
, neglecting their homeworks
and resist to socialize outside Correct your spelling
homework
home
with his friends.
Having Correct article usage
the home
a
various types of Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
toys
could be beneficial for children only if parents
choose it
wisely what type of Correct pronoun usage
apply
toys
that
might help them to learn more and boost their academic scores at school Correct pronoun usage
apply
and
by Correct word choice
apply
minimalize
the amount Wrong verb form
minimalising
if
it. Correct your spelling
of
For example
, in this
modern era, physical toys
are rare especially
for kids who already Add the comma(s)
, especially
enters
Change the verb form
enter
the
elementary school. Correct article usage
apply
Large
number of games are installed in a gadget named Change the article
A large
The large
Ipad
which can easily be brought anywhere. not only games, Correct your spelling
iPad
Correct word choice
but youtube
youtube
and learning apps can be installed. Correct your spelling
YouTube
thus
, will avoid
youngsters from Verb problem
prevent
isolated
their Wrong verb form
isolating
mind
in games and Fix the agreement mistake
minds
devided
their interest in Correct your spelling
divided
another apps
like Replace the adjective
another app
other apps
youtube
and Duolingo for learning or even socializing with their friends Correct your spelling
YouTube
in
social media.
Change preposition
on
To sum up
, owing to lack of self awareness
, poor time management and Add a hyphen
self-awareness
dicipline
in kids, giving them a large number of Correct your spelling
discipline
toys
will cause various problems such
as isolation, disobidient
and more. Correct your spelling
disobedience
Furthermore
, simplify
their pleasure and needs in just one gadget Wrong verb form
simplifying
such
as Correct article usage
an Ipad
Ipad
could be more beneficial by Correct your spelling
iPad
devided
their interest in apps. Verb problem
deviding
However
, In order to expand a gadget
benefits and decrease risks and negativity, parental supervision is needed.Change noun form
gadget's
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on
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clarity and grammar
You've done well in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys. However, to enhance clarity, consider rephrasing sentences with grammatical errors or awkward constructions.
coherence
For better coherence, try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments.
task completion
To improve task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with balanced coverage between advantages and disadvantages, and richly supported by specific examples.
accuracy
Check your essay for minor typing errors or misspellings, such as 'offsprings' instead of 'offspring', and ensure correct punctuation usage for a polished presentation.
structure
You have a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that explore both sides, and a conclusion summarizing your views.
example
Your example of how modern technology, like the iPad, can offer both educational and social opportunities for children was insightful and relevant to today's context.
position
You maintained a clear position throughout the essay, providing a balanced view on the topic, which is crucial for task achievement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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