Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are theadvantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #theadvantages #child

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Some adults

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

buy their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

a large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

essay will uncover the advantages and disadvantages of the given notion. It is obvious that children are happy when they

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

from their

parents

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

having many types of playing tools might

isolated

Change the verb form

isolate

show examples

an individual by not willing to play outside with their peers

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for only

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Correct the article-noun agreement

parents

a parent

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

who

spoiled

Wrong verb form

spoil

show examples

their child by giving him Playstation, Pump it Up and various

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of game gadgets at home tend to indulge in their own world, because of poor time management, lack of

self awareness

Add a hyphen

self-awareness

show examples

and

dicipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

kid might disobey their

parents

Use synonyms

, neglecting their

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

and resist to socialize outside

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

with his friends. Having

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

various types of

toys

Use synonyms

could be beneficial for children only if

parents

Use synonyms

choose

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wisely what type of

toys

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

might help them to learn more and boost their academic scores at school

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

minimalize

Wrong verb form

minimalising

show examples

the amount

Correct your spelling

show examples

it.

For example

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern era, physical

toys

Use synonyms

are rare

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for kids who already

enters

Change the verb form

enter

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elementary school.

Large

Change the article

A large

The large

show examples

number of games are installed in a gadget named

Ipad

Correct your spelling

iPad

show examples

which can easily be brought anywhere. not only games,

Correct word choice

but youtube

show examples

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

and learning apps can be installed.

thus

Linking Words

, will

avoid

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

youngsters from

isolated

Wrong verb form

isolating

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

in games and

devided

Correct your spelling

divided

their interest in

another apps

Replace the adjective

another app

other apps

show examples

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

and Duolingo for learning or even socializing with their friends

Change preposition

show examples

social media.

To sum up

Linking Words

, owing to lack of

self awareness

Add a hyphen

self-awareness

show examples

, poor time management and

dicipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

in kids, giving them a large number of

toys

Use synonyms

will cause various problems

such

Linking Words

as isolation,

disobidient

Correct your spelling

disobedience

and more.

Furthermore

Linking Words

simplify

Wrong verb form

simplifying

show examples

their pleasure and needs in just one gadget

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

an Ipad

show examples

Ipad

Correct your spelling

iPad

show examples

could be more beneficial by

devided

Verb problem

deviding

show examples

their interest in apps.

However

Linking Words

, In order to expand a

gadget

Change noun form

gadget's

show examples

benefits and decrease risks and negativity, parental supervision is needed.

Submitted by Practicexoxo on Tue Apr 09 2024

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clarity and grammar

You've done well in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys. However, to enhance clarity, consider rephrasing sentences with grammatical errors or awkward constructions.

coherence

For better coherence, try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments.

task completion

To improve task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with balanced coverage between advantages and disadvantages, and richly supported by specific examples.

accuracy

Check your essay for minor typing errors or misspellings, such as 'offsprings' instead of 'offspring', and ensure correct punctuation usage for a polished presentation.

structure

You have a good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that explore both sides, and a conclusion summarizing your views.

example

Your example of how modern technology, like the iPad, can offer both educational and social opportunities for children was insightful and relevant to today's context.

position

You maintained a clear position throughout the essay, providing a balanced view on the topic, which is crucial for task achievement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are theadvantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schoolto prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?