In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In many parts of the
world
, students still live with their parents Use synonyms
while
they go to Linking Words
the
university, Correct article usage
apply
meanwhile
the rest of the Add a comma
meanwhile,
world
students move to live in another city when they attend university. In my opinion, I support the idea that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
student
should stay away from home during Fix the agreement mistake
students
universiy
, and in Correct your spelling
university
this
essay, I will discuss Linking Words
about
that.
First of all, their parents may support them by paying their Remove the preposition
apply
cost-living
. Correct your spelling
cost of living
For example
, Linking Words
student
can cut cost their rental costs, Use synonyms
tuitor
fees, or electricity and water bills. Correct your spelling
tuition
tutor
Therefore
, they may earn more money for their future Linking Words
live
. Replace the word
lives
Moreover
, learners can receive Linking Words
the
care from their Correct article usage
apply
parients
when they get sick. Their family may take them to the hospital if they become ill, Correct your spelling
parents
espeacially
in emergency situations.
Correct your spelling
especially
On the other hand
, living away from home will help them become mature, Linking Words
avoid
relying on families. They must learn how to control and arrange their life by themselves. Correct word choice
and avoid
As a result
, they can earn more living experience, Linking Words
such
as time management skills, or money management skills, and they become more Linking Words
indenpendent
in life. Correct your spelling
independent
Furthermore
, students can develop their social relationships, and explore cultures around the Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
thoughout
going abroad. When Correct your spelling
throughout
Use synonyms
student
attend Fix the agreement mistake
students
to
cultural festivals, they try local cuisinesChange preposition
apply
,
and learn about the history and heritage of the new location or join Remove the comma
apply
to
clubs, they can make Change preposition
apply
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
easier
and enhance their knowledge about the Replace the word
easily
world
.
In conclusion, there are many benefits of Use synonyms
stay
away from home during Change the verb form
staying
Use synonyms
student's
life which Correct article usage
a student's
helps
them become more mature and more Correct subject-verb agreement
help
succeed
in the future.Replace the word
successful
Submitted by phuongdungnurse on
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coherence cohesion
You've developed a clear structure that guides your reader through your argument effectively. However, ensure your points are distinct and each paragraph focuses on a separate main idea to improve clarity and coherence.
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To further enhance your essay, consider providing more precise examples that directly support your arguments. Examples strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract the reader. Regularly practicing your writing and reviewing grammar rules can help minimize these errors.
task achievement
Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout your essay to avoid confusion and maintain clarity. For example, if you are discussing current practices or beliefs, use the present tense consistently.
task achievement
You have effectively chosen a side and argued your point of view throughout the essay, which meets the task's requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your argument, providing a good frame for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use transitions to link ideas and paragraphs, which helps your essay flow smoothly and keeps the reader engaged.