In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

In many parts of the

world

, students still live with their parents

while

they go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university,

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

show examples

the rest of the

world

students move to live in another city when they attend university. In my opinion, I support the idea that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should stay away from home during

universiy

Correct your spelling

university

, and in

this

essay, I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

that. First of all, their parents may support them by paying their

cost-living

Correct your spelling

cost of living

show examples

For example

student

can cut cost their rental costs,

tuitor

Correct your spelling

tuition

tutor

fees, or electricity and water bills.

Therefore

, they may earn more money for their future

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Moreover

, learners can receive

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

care from their

parients

Correct your spelling

parents

when they get sick. Their family may take them to the hospital if they become ill,

espeacially

Correct your spelling

especially

in emergency situations.

On the other hand

, living away from home will help them become mature,

avoid

Correct word choice

and avoid

show examples

relying on families. They must learn how to control and arrange their life by themselves.

As a result

, they can earn more living experience,

such

as time management skills, or money management skills, and they become more

indenpendent

Correct your spelling

independent

in life.

Furthermore

, students can develop their social relationships, and explore cultures around the

world

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

going abroad. When

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cultural festivals, they try local cuisines

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and learn about the history and heritage of the new location or join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

clubs, they can make

friend

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friends

show examples

easier

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easily

show examples

and enhance their knowledge about the

world

. In conclusion, there are many benefits of

stay

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staying

show examples

away from home during

student's

Correct article usage

a student's

show examples

life which

helps

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help

show examples

them become more mature and more

succeed

Replace the word

successful

show examples

in the future.

Submitted by phuongdungnurse on Tue Apr 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

You've developed a clear structure that guides your reader through your argument effectively. However, ensure your points are distinct and each paragraph focuses on a separate main idea to improve clarity and coherence.

task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Be mindful of minor spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract the reader. Regularly practicing your writing and reviewing grammar rules can help minimize these errors.

task achievement

Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout your essay to avoid confusion and maintain clarity. For example, if you are discussing current practices or beliefs, use the present tense consistently.

task achievement

You have effectively chosen a side and argued your point of view throughout the essay, which meets the task's requirement.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your argument, providing a good frame for your essay.

coherence cohesion

You effectively use transitions to link ideas and paragraphs, which helps your essay flow smoothly and keeps the reader engaged.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Many major cities today are becoming bigger and more crowded. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to solve this problem?

Small town center shops are running out of business because rural residents tend to go shopping in big cities store. To what extent do the disadvantages of this development outweigh the advantages?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities aroud the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think the statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

As a country develops, more people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the positive for the individual outweigh the negatives for the environment?