Some people think it is a better way to go abroad to work or study, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In the modern world, nowadays many countries have problems with a lack of workers, which results in some
people
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believe
Wrong verb form
believing
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that
when go
Wrong verb form
going
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aboard
Rephrase
abroad
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to work or study is better than their own
country
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.
Whereas
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many
people
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argue that living in
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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country
Use synonyms
is a better decision. In my opinion, I strongly believe that going abroad is better for improving yourself. There are many reasons to go abroad,
firstly
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, In
the
Correct article usage
a
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developed
country
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have many opportunities for working than undeveloped
country
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.
For example
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, The salary is higher than the undeveloped
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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and working hours
is
Change the verb form
are
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less than 8 hours. Money is the main reason for their decision.
Secondly
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, It is undeniable that education is one of the reasons for
decided moving
Wrong verb form
deciding
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their
live
Correct your spelling
move
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to another
country
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, because
education
Correct article usage
the education
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system of developed
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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have
Verb problem
is
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quality
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than mother
country
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Fix the agreement mistake
other reason
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others reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
other reason
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
comunicatin
Correct your spelling
communication
communicated
communicating
Change preposition
in
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
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language,
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due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
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apply
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in recent
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
is
Verb problem
has
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play
Wrong verb form
played
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a crucial
Fix the agreement mistake
role
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roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
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for many
w
Correct your spelling
people
, when they
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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about
conversation
Add an article
the conversation
a conversation
show examples
Correct determiner usage
the
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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environment is important for
Wrong verb form
improving
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improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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their skills.
In contrast
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, some
people
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suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
show examples
that living in their own countries is better
for
Change preposition
than
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living
other
Change preposition
in other
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countries. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
zone for living, they have intimate
thier
Correct your spelling
their
family.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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the environment of living is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
point
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
concern
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because when
people
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go abroad they must
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
a lot of routine activities
such
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as food, place, or relations between
people
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.
To conclude
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, there are 2 main key
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
between going abroad and staying in
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I think going abroad is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
enhance our abilities
such
Linking Words
as language, working experience or study.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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structure
Try to focus on a more structured approach in your essay. Use clear paragraphs to separate your ideas and make sure each paragraph discusses a distinct aspect of the topic.
introduction
Introduce both views clearly in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay.
conclusion
Wrap up your essay with a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main arguments discussed and clearly states your opinion.
language
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the complexity of your writing.
accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for any grammatical errors or typos. This will help to present your ideas more clearly.
content
You effectively discussed both views on whether it's better to go abroad or stay in one's own country.
opinion
Your personal opinion was clearly stated, providing a nice balance to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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