In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing execise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or a new negative development?
A personal
fitness trainers Correct article usage
Personal
is
popular Change the verb form
are
carear
and individuals like to Correct your spelling
careers
hiring
them to train rather than Change the verb
hire
playing
sports or Wrong verb form
play
doing
Wrong verb form
do
exercise
classes. For the
reasons.
Correct your spelling
these
Firstly
is about privacy Change the word
First
concern
, nowaday individuals they concern more Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
about
taking care of their healthy Correct word choice
concerned about
body
. Hiring Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
trainer
is providing a correct guideline in order to Add an article
a trainer
their
right Change the word
the
exercise
not
to get injured Correct word choice
so as not
while
working out and also
for the right calories
nutrition from the Change the noun form
calorie
trainer
knowledge so they can received
Change the verb form
receive
a
correct information from their own Correct article usage
the
trainer
. In addition
, some people
they
like to stay at home they don't like to share Correct pronoun usage
apply
equipments
with the Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
other
at the public gym because at home there is more convenience than going out to Fix the agreement mistake
others
exercise
, so they are happy to hire a personal fitness trainer
to come to train at their home although
the cost is quit
expensive.
In my opinion, It is a positive development because if you are a personal fitness Correct your spelling
quite
trainer
in the future people
will be more like to get their body healthy and stay fit dua the word trend and concern about stay
healthy and long live. The benefit for Wrong verb form
staying
Add an article
a trainer
the trainer
trainer
is the income that they can earn Fix the agreement mistake
trainers
also
, if you are the one who Capitalize word
Also
hiring
a personal Change the form of the verb
hired
trainer
you will be more safety
Correct word choice
safe
while
you use the equipments
to Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
exercise
, far away from injured
and Replace the word
injuries
having
Wrong verb form
have
a
knowledge about nutrition from Correct article usage
apply
food
that you consume.
Add an article
the food
However
. It is depend
on how the way Change the verb form
depends
people
like to exercise
. Some people
prefer to hiring
a personal Change the verb
hire
trainer
and
but some Correct word choice
apply
people
might like to go out to playing
sports or Wrong verb form
play
doing
Wrong verb form
do
exercise
classes with the
Correct article usage
apply
other
to Fix the agreement mistake
others
develope
their socialise and Correct your spelling
develop
making
Wrong verb form
make
a
new friends. In Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
eaither
way, there are good for their healthy lifestyle and no right or wrong.Correct your spelling
either
Submitted by chabathips on
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Structure
Try to organize your essay in a more structured manner, with clear paragraphs for introduction, main points and conclusion.
Accuracy
Be sure to check for and correct any grammatical or spelling errors throughout your writing.
Vocabulary
Use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
Grammar
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more interesting and demonstrate your language proficiency.
Task Response
Ensure that you accurately respond to all parts of the prompt in your essay. It's important to address both the reasons for the trend and whether it's a positive or negative development fully.
Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Understanding
There is a clear attempt to address the essay prompt by providing reasons for the popularity of personal fitness trainers and discussing its positive aspects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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