In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people migth not be happy to give up using cash?

In
this
essey
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will discuss
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the topic" digital payments will become more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
than
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
cash
to pay for things in shops.
Firstly
, the main benefit
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
using digital payments
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
or
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
instead
of
cash
is more
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
convenient
for customers and
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
because
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
, they do not need to carry physical
cash
and provide
varicus
Correct your spelling
various
options for making
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
quickly and easily.
Aditional
Correct your spelling
Additional
show examples
, digital
payment
medthods
Correct your spelling
methods
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
them more secure than carrying
cash
, which can be lost or stolen.
For example
, when I went to
shopped
Change the form of the verb
shop
show examples
at the H&M
last
time, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a long
quie
Correct your spelling
queue
but only one staff can manage for
payment
service really fast
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
to use
card
Correct article usage
a card
show examples
and phone to pay
instead
of
cash
.
However
, digital payments are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
elderly
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
according
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
technology is
continue
Verb problem
apply
show examples
growing which is really
diffical
Correct your spelling
difficult
for them to
handling
Change the form of the verb
handle
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
.
Moreover
, when the internet signal is
dissconnect
Correct your spelling
disconnected
disconnect
we observe that a lot of people are having a problem to pay things and some forget the password.
Thus
, elderly and rural people
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
to use
cash
Add an article
the cash
show examples
more than
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
or
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. In
conclud
Correct your spelling
conclude
, digital
payment
Change the noun form
payments
show examples
are
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
advantages
and
disadventage
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
. There is
convenience
Add an article
a convenience
show examples
for
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elderly
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think
that is
really hard for them to keep following the technology.
Submitted by chabathips on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling
Watch out for spelling mistakes, especially in key terms related to your topic, e.g., 'essay' not 'essey', 'convenience' not 'convinience', and 'difficult' not 'diffical'.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammar, particularly verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'digital payments likes card or phone...is more convenience' should be 'digital payments such as card or phone...are more convenient'.
Coherence
Consider refining your coherence by enhancing the flow between your ideas. Connect your paragraphs with transition words, such as 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'On the other hand', to make your argument more fluid.
Cohesion
To improve cohesion, be more consistent in your argumentation. Each paragraph should clearly address a specific point, followed by examples or explanations to support it.
Punctuation
Review punctuation rules to avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of commas and periods. For instance, ensure that you're using commas appropriately in lists and not mixing them up with periods.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless transactions
  • technological advancements
  • digital payments
  • economic implications
  • small businesses
  • low-income groups
  • privacy concerns
  • digital divide
  • cultural attachment
  • financial anonymity
  • unbanked populations
  • accessibility issues
  • efficiency
  • security
  • inevitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: