IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that uniform should be compulsory for workplaces, while other says that it is not important. Discuss both views and give opinion.

#people #uniform #workplaces
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Nowadays, Some
people
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 claim that workers should wear
uniforms
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. Others allege that
people
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 should be free in their choice. Some
people
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 claim that workers should wear
uniforms
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: Mandatory
uniforms
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 are believed to promote a sense of unity and professionalism in the workplace.
Also
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 helps customers identify
employees
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 easily.
In addition
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,
uniforms
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 eliminate the need for
employees
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 to spend time and money choosing appropriate work clothes and
also
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 reduce distractions.
On the other hand
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, they argue that it restricts personal expression and freedom. Others allege that
people
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 should be free in their choice:
On the contrary
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, others emphasize the importance of personal expression and freedom in the choice of clothing for the forced labor uniform. They argue that
uniforms
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 can limit individuality and hinder employee comfort and confidence. Allowing
employees
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 to dress
however
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 they like can contribute to a more relaxed work environment, which can increase
overall
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 productivity. In conclusion, In my opinion,
uniforms
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 may be necessary in areas where safety or hygiene is important,
such
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 as Healthcare or Food Service.
However
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, I think that
employees
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 of creative industries or technology companies should be allowed to wear
uniforms
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 freely. I don't think it's necessary to wear a uniform everywhere.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Development of Ideas
To further enhance your essay, consider deepening the elaboration of your main points with more detailed examples for each view. This will help to provide a stronger argument and make your essay even more compelling.
Introduction & Conclusion Structure
Although your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, make sure to include a thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help to guide the reader through your essay.
Transitions
When presenting different views, consider using a wider variety of transition words and phrases to ensure seamless flow between paragraphs and sentences. This can improve readability and coherence.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay successfully discusses both views on the topic of uniforms at the workplace, providing a balanced perspective.
Clear Opinion & Relevant Examples
You have a clear opinion that is well-supported by arguments related to specific industries, which demonstrates good understanding of the subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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