some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. to what extent do you agree or disagree withthis statement.

These days,
people
have
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
options to choose
for
Change preposition
from for
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
including daily products, careers, and many more as the marketing competition and many
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
. In
this
essay, the support of
this
statement will be elaborated before my opinion is reached. To support the idea that individuals have more choices than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past is the number of
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
for each product as the expanding of the market.
For example
, nowadays there are many
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
of
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
including Apple, Samsung, Xiaomi, Oppo and etc. from international companies across the world,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the past we have only 2 brands, namely Nokia and
Motorora
Correct your spelling
Motorola
.
Therefore
,
people
can choose whatever is suitable for them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
more affordable prices.
Moreover
,
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
the advancement of technology and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, which helps
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
the world, and
distributing
Wrong verb form
distribute
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information to everyone who can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it,
people
have more choices to select the
job
that they
passionate
Add a missing verb
are passionate
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
compared to the past without
these facilitation
Change the determiner
this facilitation
show examples
.
For example
,
todays
Correct your spelling
today
, we can easily search for available jobs from
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
by just posting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
resume and
wait
Wrong verb form
waiting
show examples
for the company to call for
interview
Add an article
an interview
the interview
show examples
.
However
, in the past, it was very difficult to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of communication technology.
Hence
, the current
people
always
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
their
job
when they have a better
job
. In conclusion, it is apparent that in the present, we have more choices for choosing everything
such
as gadgets and careers. In my opinion,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
trend is beneficial for customers and workers like us as we can
sellect
Correct your spelling
select
the best for ourselves.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to correct and varied sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider revisiting grammar and punctuation rules to minimize errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Work on paraphrasing the essay prompt more effectively in the introduction to clearly set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong position, to show a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Continue to use specific examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Effective use of specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
A clear structure with a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Successfully addressing the prompt by elaborating your stance and supporting it with relevant examples.

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