IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. to what extent do you agree or disagree withthis statement.

#people #beleive #choices #withthis
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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 have
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 options to choose
for
Change preposition
from for
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 including daily products, careers, and many more as the marketing competition and many
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the support of
this
Linking Words
 statement will be elaborated before my opinion is reached. To support the idea that individuals have more choices than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past is the number of
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 for each product as the expanding of the market.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays there are many
brand
Change to a plural noun
brands
show examples
 of
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 including Apple, Samsung, Xiaomi, Oppo and etc. from international companies across the world,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in the past we have only 2 brands, namely Nokia and
Motorora
Correct your spelling
Motorola
.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can choose whatever is suitable for them
in
Change preposition
at
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 more affordable prices.
Moreover
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,
as
Change preposition
with
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 the advancement of technology and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, which helps
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
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 the world, and
distributing
Wrong verb form
distribute
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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information to everyone who can access
to
Change preposition
apply
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it,
people
Use synonyms
 have more choices to select the
job
Use synonyms
 that they
passionate
Add a missing verb
are passionate
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on
Change preposition
about
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 compared to the past without
these facilitation
Change the determiner
this facilitation
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
todays
Correct your spelling
today
, we can easily search for available jobs from
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 by just posting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 resume and
wait
Wrong verb form
waiting
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 for the company to call for
interview
Add an article
an interview
the interview
show examples
.
However
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, in the past, it was very difficult to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of communication technology.
Hence
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, the current
people
Use synonyms
 always
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 their
job
Use synonyms
 when they have a better
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is apparent that in the present, we have more choices for choosing everything
such
Linking Words
 as gadgets and careers. In my opinion,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 trend is beneficial for customers and workers like us as we can
sellect
Correct your spelling
select
 the best for ourselves.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to correct and varied sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider revisiting grammar and punctuation rules to minimize errors and improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Work on paraphrasing the essay prompt more effectively in the introduction to clearly set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong position, to show a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Continue to use specific examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Effective use of specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
A clear structure with a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Successfully addressing the prompt by elaborating your stance and supporting it with relevant examples.
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