Some people believe that having children leads to happiness. Do you think that people who do not have children can find happiness? What other factors in a person's life affect happiness?

In contemporary society, many
people
believe that having children makes
people
happiness and joy.
However
, others assert that there are diverse factors that bring
to
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apply
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people
happiness without
kids
. In
this
essay, I will explain why
people
who don't have their
kids
can feel happy and propose diverse ideas in
people
's lives
affect
Correct pronoun usage
that affect
show examples
happiness. There are surely a few reasons why we can live it up without their sons and daughters. First and foremost,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason is that they can save a lot of money and they can expenditure their money on hobbies.
For example
, in Korea, they need a lot of money if they want to raise
kids
because of education
fee
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fees
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, hospital charges, and clothes are expensive.
In contrast
, if they don't have
kids
they can learn whatever they want to learn
such
as sports, and arts, and even they can raise pets.
Secondly
, another reasonable one is that parents need not argue about parenting problems
for instance
different
ways
of discipline, education
ways
, and eating habits. Because
,
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they are raised
by
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in
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different environments they have diverse ideas when raising
kids
. In spite of the above-mentioned content, there are various factors that make their lives happy.
Firstly
, raising pets
such
as dogs, cats, and parrots is one of the best
ways
to spend their time full of humour.
For example
, sometimes when I go to the park, I can see a dog and my grandmother and at that time, the owner says to me dog is better than
the
Correct article usage
a
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person because the dog obeys
owner’s
Correct article usage
the owner’s
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requirements.
Moreover
, sometimes their residence makes
people
happy and comfortable.
For example
, in my case, whenever I return to my flat after my daily routine, I feel comfortable and thrilled. To sum it up, considering all the previously mentioned information even though having children has positive effects on
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
lives,
however
, I believe that we can fulfil our life
happy
Change the word
happily
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
ways
.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

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Vocabulary
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Examples
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Sentence Structure
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Structure
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a balanced perspective on the topic and fully answering the question.
Use of Examples
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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