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Writing Samples
Band 5

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

#computers #technology #education #intelligence #development
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In today's digital age, many people are increasingly using A.
I technology
Correct pronoun usage
Technology
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 and computers for online learning,
thus
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 leading to enhance the experience of online education.
This
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 writer believes that
this
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 is a positive development
due to
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 creativity improved for
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 and convenience. It must be understood that
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
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 online education for children can help them increase their creativity.
This
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 is especially so
if
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for
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 the children who
is
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are
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 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
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 because
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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 always possible depending on their lifestyle.
Therefore
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, it allows
students
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 to
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 both social media and internet searching at the same time. Having flexible working means that the experience of them
have
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has
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 increased.
For example
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,
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
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 is a good social media for
students
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 to arrive
on
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at
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 online meeting
class
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classes
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, especially
it
Correct word choice
since it
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 can
be use
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be used
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like
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as
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online
Correct article usage
an online
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 classroom which can allow many
students
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 to john online
schedule
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schedules
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 with their service at
home
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. Another argument worth considering is that A.
I technology
Correct pronoun usage
Technology
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 can make people feel better and faster when they are used
from
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to
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 the lesson environment. When working online at
home
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, the
student
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 may feel like they can
study
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 in their own place, take breaks when needed and enjoy the class with less stress.
Consequently
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, working for long hours is not a problem for
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 each day, it can have a positive impact on
student
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 lifestyle.
For instance
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,
according to
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 an article published in BaoThanhNien in 2021, a survey of
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who
study
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 online from
home
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 in Vietnam showed 94% of
students
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 said they feel better and convenient when they
study
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 online with
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
show examples
. In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are clear benefits to
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who can
study
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 at
home
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, including having a flexible experience.
Additionally
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, the technology should
also
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 be improved to enhance the quality of
lesson
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lessons
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 in the future.
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Structure
Be sure to clearly distinguish between your introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction could briefly outline your argument before delving into it.
Supporting Details
While your essay presents relevant examples, it could benefit from a clearer link between these examples and your main arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
Logical Flow
Work on enhancing the flow of your essay through better use of linking words and phrases. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument more persuasive.
Grammar & Accuracy
There are minor grammatical inaccuracies throughout. Practice sentence structure and the use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the') to improve clarity and fluency.
Vocabulary
Your essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary. Consider synonyms and more specific terms related to the topic of online education and A.I. technology.
Topic Coverage
The essay effectively covers the topic and provides a clear stance on it being a positive development.
Use of Examples
Use of specific examples, such as google meet and the study of students in Vietnam, adds credibility to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative platforms
  • customized learning
  • adaptability
  • efficiency
  • lifelong learning
  • automation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • educational resources
  • remote accessibility
  • critical thinking
  • emotional development
  • over-reliance
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