People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
, it would be better for households to
owned
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
a
house
rather than
rented
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
it in many nations.
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
, that would be really
necsessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
in the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
of Asian people. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I believe that
this
trend has both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, there are many reasons why most people,
specific
Change the word
specifically
show examples
Asian
Fix the agreement mistake
Asians
show examples
want to own houses. The first reason
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
they don’t want to depend on the
landlore
Correct your spelling
landlady
, who can
give
Verb problem
make
show examples
decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
to
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
them to live there or not.
For example
, My uncle already rented the
house
for more than 3 years and he
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
really enjoyed it, but because the place itself
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
value for sale
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
time, the
owner’s
Change noun form
owners
show examples
just put him out and sold it.
Additionally
, in Asia, houses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a big investment in life and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can bring a lot of benefits for the owners. A
house
can used for renting
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
living or just used for their business, not
mention
Fix the infinitive
to mention
show examples
it
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
can rise every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some consequences of
this
trend can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
households.
Firstly
, Owning a
house
need
Verb problem
requires
show examples
a lot of money, that really hard for normal people can
affordable
Replace the word
afford
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it if they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
bank loan. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
really hard for 20 to 30 years to
owned
Change the form of the verb
own
show examples
one and they will not have time for some things else.
Seconly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, it will make them stick to only areas, which can
limited
Change the verb form
be limited
limit
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
potential. In conclusion,
this
trend has both
benifical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
and detrimental effects.
Submitted by huynhvinhthai236 on

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Spelling & Grammar
Pay close attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, correcting 'owned' to 'own', 'rented' to 'rent', and 'necsessary' to 'necessary' would improve the readability.
Sentence Structure
Try to use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate your linguistic capacity, though the simplicity of your sentences has its own clarity.
Use of Examples
When presenting examples, ensure they directly support your argument. Your example of your uncle's experience was relevant and added a personal touch, enhancing your argument.
Paragraph Structure
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly, with distinct topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument for better flow and coherence.
Balanced Argument
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
Use of Examples
You effectively use examples from personal experiences to support your points, adding credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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