Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It would
be argue
Change the verb form
be argued
show examples
by some that advertising is so popular in order that no one
put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
show examples
so much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
to care it. In my
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
however
, advertising
do
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does
show examples
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
show examples
jobs
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job
show examples
to persuade
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of persuading
show examples
everyone to
spent
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spend
show examples
their money on
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
show examples
. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
think that advertisement
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
normal these days. The main reason is
people
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
used to
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
of advertisements, all of them
followed
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
the same structure, format, and
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
, which is really boring for everyone now.
Example
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For example
show examples
, every Tet holiday, the same advertising
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from all companies about beer with the message "Come back home and drink".
Additionally
, customers
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
so smart when
choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
the
products
to buy,
therefore
, it will
harder
Add a missing verb
be harder
show examples
for all brands to
aproach
Correct your spelling
approach
if
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
products
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
good enough.
On the other hand
,
firstly
, I think that now still have many successful companies which can bring value to
customer
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customers
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
services and
products
. Apple is an example
for
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of
show examples
this
,
it
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its
show examples
marketing and advertising campaigns have a great influence on the spending habits of young
people
and
every
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
always talk about it when we talk about innovation. Consumers do not buy what
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
do, they buy why
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
do it.
Secondly
, without advertising,
people
hard to make
a better shopping choices
Correct the article-noun agreement
better shopping choices
a better shopping choice
show examples
,
while
advertising
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
raise
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
awareness about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products
and services. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
many
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
advertising now is so normal that
people
don't really care about it anymore, I personally believe that it still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
really strong
powers
Fix the agreement mistake
power
show examples
to affect the way we buy.
Submitted by huynhvinhthai236 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction could be strengthened by directly addressing the essay prompt.
logical structure
Consider varying your sentence structures and using transitional phrases to help the reader follow your arguments more smoothly.
supported main points
Fully develop your main points. While you provided examples, adding more details and explanations could enhance your argument.
complete response
Continue developing a clear response to the prompt, as you did. Including a variety of examples and a clear opinion strengthens your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and avoid general statements. Try to more clearly articulate your points and make them comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
Providing more specific examples or personal anecdotes can make your essay more engaging and persuasive.
complete response
You have effectively taken a stance on the issue and maintained it throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
You included relevant examples, such as the mention of Apple's advertising, to support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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