It is important for people to take risks,both in their proffesional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs the disadvantages

Taking
risks
in their professional
lives
and their personal
lives
can be crucial and it is
also
can bring some
opportunities
and achieve goals for them,
however
, it can lead them to lose
value
or some new
opportunities
. I partly agree with
this
statement that
risks
can bring some benefits for
people
,but
also
they can be faced With some drawbacks. On the
one
hand,
risks
in personal life have potential benefits like making welfare and achieving goals. Our world remembers a lot of stories when
people
accept challenges and take
risks
to make their
lives
more enjoyable and convenient.
For example
,
one
Russian businessman Sergey Mavrody took some
opportunities
to become
one
of the most successful
people
in the Russian scene and he had the risk of falling down and losing his
value
,
however
,he made his own business
one
of the most famous lottery companies.
However
,
this
chance was fortune and he could achieve the status of bankrupt.
In addition
,if investor are interested in their company and want to promote that they certainly will take
risks
to do that. On the
one
hand,
this
adventure has the opposite side in professional life,which leads to
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
of
value
, especially in online markets and creates obstacles on the road to success in that field. In our contemporary world
major
Correct your spelling
a majority
show examples
of
people
make their own businesses in the digital zones
as well as
social applications and online shops. These
opportunities
also
have the necessary resources
such
as start-ups and maintaining the quality and availability of products,which sellers offer.
Hence
,there is a chance to lose their
value
to supply unnecessary goods and they are able to lose their potential in the market.
Furthermore
, the suppliers can take a mortgage at the bank,but if the business is not profitable they should give money to the bank from their own capital.
In addition
,
risks
can make
people
more gambling and make their things unpredictable. In conclusion,the
risks
can bring benefits in personal
lives
and play
one
of the most vital
role
Change to a plural noun
roles
show examples
,which can bring some
opportunities
,
however
,in professional life, it can
also
lead
people
to lose control and solve some problems in their career.
Submitted by batirka06 on

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coherence cohesion
Attempt to create clearer distinctions between paragraphs by using distinct topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the readability and the logical progression of your essay.
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Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enrich your essay and convey your ideas more precisely.
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Verify that examples and arguments provided are directly relevant to the thesis, ensuring a strong link between your claims and the evidence you provide.
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Your essay provides a well-balanced view on the subject, effectively exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
task achievement
Good use of an example to illustrate your point about risk-taking leading to success.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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