The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
are believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
science
plays crucial
role Add an article
a crucial
on
Change preposition
in
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
living
of Replace the word
lives
people
. Nowadays, science
contribute
to Change the verb form
contributes
people
for enhancing the level of people
’s lives. There are plenty of advantages pertain
to Wrong verb form
pertaining
science
namely medical discoveries, improvement of healthcare, transportation
and technological advancements
. This
essay argues about
Change preposition
that
advancements
of
Change preposition
in
science
have leaded
to Correct your spelling
led
improve
Wrong verb form
improvements in
people
’s lives.
Firstly
, In the past century, the world has witnessed a huge advanced
Replace the word
advance
on
medical discovery Change preposition
in
for instance
making Correct article usage
a verity
verity
Correct your spelling
variety
vaccines
and remote surgeries. Change preposition
of vaccines
According to
news reports that are based on government officials, nearly 50 percent
was saved by injecting vaccines Change the spelling
per cent
such
as infant vaccine and hepatitis vaccine. Also
, to decrease the number of doctors on
some regions, Change preposition
in
people
have faced plenty of problems, Therefore
, hopefully by
advanced Change preposition
with
of
technology, numerous surgeries Change preposition
apply
are
done by famous Wrong verb form
will be
Docters
Correct your spelling
doctors
by
using remote surgery. Change preposition
apply
Also
, advanced equipment contributes to enhance
the quality of healthcare in both rural and urban Change the verb form
enhancing
area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For example
, in the past, considerable
amount of Add an article
a considerable
people
has
died Change the verb form
have
due to
not existing proper medical devices. of course, science
have
had advancement in other Change the verb form
has
filed
.
Correct your spelling
fields
Secondly
, science
has considerable
Change the word
considerably
provided advancement
in the field of Wrong verb form
advanced
transportation
and technological advancements
. In the last
century, transportation
was a massive problem, especially, for lang
Correct your spelling
long
distance
but now, by making developed devices Fix the agreement mistake
distances
such
as bus
, Fix the agreement mistake
buses
subway
, Fix the agreement mistake
subways
Correct word choice
and airplane
airplane
, transporting is an easy issue and Humans go to any place Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
of
Change preposition
in
world
without suffering. Add an article
the world
Likewise
, some work was done by humans in the past, although
, most of works
are done by advanced machines and all of Add an article
the works
the
pertain to technological Correct pronoun usage
them
advancements
.
In conclusion, despite of
medical discoveries, Change preposition
apply
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
of
healthcare, Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
apply
transportation
and technological advancements
, but
the world needs to access more advancement by Correct word choice
apply
science
. Science
has supported the life
of all Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
in these years. I sure
that Add a missing verb
am sure
science
will help people
on
Change preposition
in
next
generation more and more.Correct article usage
the next
Submitted by mrhoshangi87 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve cohesion, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your main points further. More detailed examples and a deeper analysis will strengthen your argument.
Language Use
Watch out for repetitive language and try to use a wider vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Grammar
Ensure grammatical correctness by carefully reviewing your essay for any errors in tense, article use, and sentence structure.
Content Coverage
You effectively covered multiple aspects of how science improves lives, such as in medicine, transportation, and technology.
Structure
You structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?