IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some
people
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are believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that
science
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 plays
crucial
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a crucial
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 role
on
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in
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daily
Correct article usage
the daily
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living
Replace the word
lives
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 of
people
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. Nowadays,
science
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contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to
people
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 for enhancing the level of
people
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’s lives. There are plenty of advantages
pertain
Wrong verb form
pertaining
show examples
 to
science
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 namely medical discoveries, improvement of healthcare,
transportation
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 and technological
advancements
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay argues
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
advancements
Use synonyms
of
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in
show examples
science
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 have
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
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 to
improve
Wrong verb form
improvements in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, In the past century, the world has witnessed a huge
advanced
Replace the word
advance
show examples
on
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in
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 medical discovery
for instance
Linking Words
 making
Correct article usage
a verity
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verity
Correct your spelling
variety
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vaccines
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of vaccines
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 and remote surgeries.
According to
Linking Words
 news reports that are based on government officials, nearly 50
percent
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per cent
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 was saved by injecting vaccines
such
Linking Words
 as infant vaccine and hepatitis vaccine.
Also
Linking Words
, to decrease the number of doctors
on
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in
show examples
 some regions,
people
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 have faced plenty of problems,
Therefore
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, hopefully
by
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with
show examples
 advanced
of
Change preposition
apply
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technology, numerous surgeries
are
Wrong verb form
will be
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 done by famous
Docters
Correct your spelling
doctors
by
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apply
show examples
using remote surgery.
Also
Linking Words
, advanced equipment contributes to
enhance
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enhancing
show examples
 the quality of healthcare in both rural and urban
area
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areas
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past,
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
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 amount of
people
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 died
due to
Linking Words
 not existing proper medical devices. of course,
science
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had advancement in other
filed
Correct your spelling
fields
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
science
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 has
considerable
Change the word
considerably
show examples
provided advancement
Wrong verb form
advanced
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 in the field of
transportation
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 and technological
advancements
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. In the
last
Linking Words
 century,
transportation
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 was a massive problem, especially, for
lang
Correct your spelling
long
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distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 but now, by making developed devices
such
Linking Words
 as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
subway
Fix the agreement mistake
subways
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and airplane
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airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
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, transporting is an easy issue and Humans go to any place
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
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 without suffering.
Likewise
Linking Words
, some work was done by humans in the past,
although
Linking Words
, most of
works
Add an article
the works
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 are done by advanced machines and all of
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 pertain to technological
advancements
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. In conclusion, despite
of
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apply
show examples
medical discoveries,
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 healthcare,
of
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apply
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 and technological
advancements
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the world needs to access more advancement by
science
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.
Science
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 has supported the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of all
people
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 in these years. I
sure
Add a missing verb
am sure
show examples
 that
science
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 will help
people
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation more and more.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve cohesion, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your main points further. More detailed examples and a deeper analysis will strengthen your argument.
Language Use
Watch out for repetitive language and try to use a wider vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Grammar
Ensure grammatical correctness by carefully reviewing your essay for any errors in tense, article use, and sentence structure.
Content Coverage
You effectively covered multiple aspects of how science improves lives, such as in medicine, transportation, and technology.
Structure
You structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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