It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, a lot of
happennings
around the world and we need to Correct your spelling
happenings
give
Verb problem
pay
an
attention Remove the article
apply
about
International Change preposition
to
events
like frequent earthquake
and storms from different Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
countries
and unexpected happenings like war
Add an article
the war
a war
in
between Change preposition
apply
countries
.
I strongly agree that we need to be aware of what is happening in our daily lives not just our
own country in which we are living but Change preposition
in our
also
the unexpected news like tragedy in other countries
. Some international events
that
is
happening are unexpected storms like Change the verb form
are
an
Correct article usage
apply
earthquake
, Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
tsunami
, heavy rain that causes Fix the agreement mistake
tsunamis
flood
and Fix the agreement mistake
floods
make
people homeless and other storms that may affect other people. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Such
things
happen around can give you an idea of how you are able to reach them out especially if you have relatives or you have the capacity to help others who are in need. On the other hand
, we need also
to be aware of good things
in reverse of bad thing
that will give Fix the agreement mistake
things
as
Correct your spelling
us
a
courage to do more good in life. An example is that you have Correct article usage
the
witness
Change the verb form
witnessed
a
great Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
things
from other countries
that you are also
competent to do it also
, that they give you an idea of what you are becoming to
in the future and will Change preposition
apply
hold
a great impact in your daily life as your inspiration.
Verb problem
have
Nevertheless
, It is not applicable to know all international events
if it is not significant to our lives. An example of this
is the
event that needs an action from that specific place or country and needs no attention from others. another example is Correct article usage
an
that
Correct word choice
apply
a nonsense information
going on in Remove the article
nonsense information
a piece of nonsense information
the
specific country like if the information is Correct article usage
a
stessful
and will affect your health. But in my perspective, we really need to be aware of all Correct your spelling
stressful
things
that
is
happening Change the verb form
are
around
.
In conclusion, Social media like Correct pronoun usage
around us
Fix the agreement mistake
television
televisions
, radio and news from social networking Fix the agreement mistake
television
has
a great impact and Correct subject-verb agreement
have
holds
an important part of our daily lives when it comes to Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
Correct article usage
apply
an
international Correct article usage
apply
events
that Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
might give an information regarding of what is the current situation.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows a clear structure with an introduction, development, and conclusion. However, try to enhance the coherence by connecting paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
You've effectively addressed the topic, but to further improve, ensure your argument covers both sides more comprehensively, especially when discussing the importance of being aware of international events and when it's not necessary.
Introduction
You have a strong opening that sets the stage for discussing the importance of awareness of international events.
Examples
The use of specific examples, like natural disasters and positive achievements from other countries, successfully supports your arguments.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the importance of being informed about international events.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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