Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views.
A group of people consider that society should look after their hygiene states, on the other side of the argument, others believe that it is the responsibility of the authority to take care of their population's health. In my view, both of these groups have their own responsibilities and they have to do it in the best way.
To begin
with, the state of well-being is one of the most important aspects of our lives and as a human, we have to observe our body states. Firstly
, the population have to focus on their needs and schedule some daily routines, such
as walking, and cycling, because these activities will increase our energy consumption and we can burn extra calories. In addition
, our intake of food is another important figure for a healthy body , people have to watch their diet and nutrition because their consumption will determine their figures. For example
, if citizens get used to eating fast food gradually they will have to struggle with obesity or high sugar in their blood , as a result
, controlling our health should be our own priority and we have to control our consumption and routine sports, otherwise
, we cannot solve our hygiene problems.
On the other hand
, the government have their own part in tackling this
issue and some programs can be provided by the government for inhabitants to make sure about their health, for instance
, sports facilities can be developed by investing more money and providing more gyms to encourage people to enrol, additionally
, some courses can be brought by the government to inform the population about the importance of being healthy, so the crowd will gradually think about changing bad habits to have a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, watching over the community's hygiene is a responsibility that has to be controlled by the individuals and the authority, moreover
, the first group can focus on their routine and have a beneficial diet and the second group can invest more money in sports equipment also
can make public awareness about the essential role of a healthy lifestyle.Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support or expand on that idea. This will help to improve the strength of your arguments and the overall cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Using a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic and avoiding repetition of words and phrases can make your argument more persuasive and your language more varied.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Including a wider range of specific examples and explanations can help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids the reader's understanding.
task achievement
You discussed both views as the prompt requested, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
