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Band 4.5

Children in rural areas are being left behind in their academic development. why is this the case . What solution can you suggest

#children #areas #development #case
Education
 is the fundamental right of every
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Academic
Correct article usage
The academic
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 development of rural students
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 far behind
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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urban
Change preposition
of urban
show examples
 areas . In
this
 essay , I would like to discuss the causes and measures for advancement . One of the biggest problems in rural areas
do
Verb problem
is
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 not
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 basic
school
 infrastructure for teaching. Only
few
Change the article
a few
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 faculties for numerous
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. With no proper internet facilities which makes teachers to teach students .
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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,
parents
 are not well educated
as a result
 they do not know
value
Add an article
the value
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 of
education
 .
For instance
 ,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
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parents
 know how to make their kids prepare for
Add an article
the examination
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examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
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 and teach new skills for
betterment
Correct article usage
the betterment
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. On the other side ,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should take measures for the development of
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
 academics. They should introduce new policies for teaching by adding new infrastructure like internet connection ,
modernising
Correct word choice
and modernising
show examples
 the
class rooms
Correct your spelling
classrooms
show examples
.
Moreover
 , bring the awareness and importance of
education
 to their
parents
 .
Due to
 poverty in rural areas ,
parents
 are not able to provide three meals a day
as a result
 they are
force
Change the form of the verb
forced
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 to do labour work in of going to
school
 .
For example
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should provide free breakfast and lunch in the
school
. It will reduce
financial
Add an article
the financial
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 burden on their
parents
as a result
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 will send their kids to
school
.
To sum up
 ,
education
 progress can be seen in
remote
Add an article
the remote
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 through only by
government
Change noun form
government's
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 new policies , good infrastructure and facilities like free meals and other basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. All
this
 change will have
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
drastically
 improvements in rural
education
 .
Submitted by nikhilguni on

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Grammar
Ensure correct subject-verb agreement and consistent use of singular/plural nouns (e.g., 'children' instead of 'childrens').
Supporting Detail
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail to strengthen your arguments.
Linking Words
Use a wider range of transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
Sentence Variety
Revise sentences to enhance clarity and reduce repetition.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined your essay's structure.
Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points.
Conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarises the essay's main ideas.
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