IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Children in rural areas are being left behind in their academic development. why is this the case . What solution can you suggest

#children #areas #development #case
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Education
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 is the fundamental right of every
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childrens
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children
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.
Academic
Correct article usage
The academic
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 development of rural students
are
Change the verb form
is
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 far behind
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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urban
Change preposition
of urban
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 areas . In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I would like to discuss the causes and measures for advancement . One of the biggest problems in rural areas
do
Verb problem
is
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 not
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 basic
school
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 infrastructure for teaching. Only
few
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a few
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 faculties for numerous
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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. With no proper internet facilities which makes teachers to teach students .
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Further more
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Furthermore
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,
parents
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 are not well educated
as a result
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 they do not know
value
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the value
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 of
education
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 .
For instance
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 ,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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well educated
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well-educated
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parents
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 know how to make their kids prepare for
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the examination
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examination
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examinations
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 and teach new skills for
betterment
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the betterment
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in
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of
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 their
life
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lives
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. On the other side ,
government
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the government
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 should take measures for the development of
Correct your spelling
children's
children
childrens
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 academics. They should introduce new policies for teaching by adding new infrastructure like internet connection ,
modernising
Correct word choice
and modernising
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 the
class rooms
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classrooms
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.
Moreover
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 , bring the awareness and importance of
education
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 to their
parents
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 .
Due to
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 poverty in rural areas ,
parents
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 are not able to provide three meals a day
as a result
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 they are
force
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forced
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 to do labour work in of going to
school
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 .
For example
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 ,
government
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the government
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 should provide free breakfast and lunch in the
school
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. It will reduce
financial
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the financial
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 burden on their
parents
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as a result
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the
Correct your spelling
they
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 will send their kids to
school
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.
To sum up
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 ,
education
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 progress can be seen in
remote
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the remote
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area
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areas
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 through only by
government
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government's
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 new policies , good infrastructure and facilities like free meals and other basic
need
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needs
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to
Change preposition
for
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 the
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childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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. All
this
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 change will have
drastical
Correct your spelling
drastic
drastically
 improvements in rural
education
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 .
Submitted by nikhilguni on

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Grammar
Ensure correct subject-verb agreement and consistent use of singular/plural nouns (e.g., 'children' instead of 'childrens').
Supporting Detail
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail to strengthen your arguments.
Linking Words
Use a wider range of transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
Sentence Variety
Revise sentences to enhance clarity and reduce repetition.
Introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined your essay's structure.
Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points.
Conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarises the essay's main ideas.
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