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Many people believe that the high level of violence in films and TV programmes today is causing serious social problems. What are the problems caused by excessive violence in films and TV? How could these problems be reduced.

#people #level #violence #films #tv #programmes
It is a well-established fact that films and TV
programmes
 contain a lot of violent scenes. And those scenes have influenced people’s lives in a great
way
. There are 2 principle reasons for
this
. The chief reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 the
problem
 is that the younger generation
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
 at the film and movie stars ass their idols, so they tend to repeat after them. The empirical evidence supporting
this
 position is overwhelming.
This
 cause of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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violent
movies
 and TV
programmes
 is
also
, supported by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
. The solution
for
Change preposition
to
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this
problem
 could be spending less time watching
movies
, or at least watching those
movies
way
 less than they did before. Another striking
problem
 is that violent
movies
 lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems with concentration.
Therefore
, it can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems with studies or at work. Several examples can be brought
which
Correct word choice
that
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 serve to illustrate
this
 point. As an example, nowadays more people tend to have problems with focusing and the number of people that suffer from attention deficit disorder has
increases
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 substantially. A third compelling
problem
 related to the issue is that children can go through mental illnesses especially depression because of the violent
movies
. And in order to tackle
this
problem
less
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apply
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people should watch all kinds of
movies
 and films. By
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way
 of conclusion, taking into consideration all the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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 reasons. I personally subscribe to the idea that violent
moves
Correct your spelling
movies
show examples
 and
tV
Capitalize word
TV
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programmes
 have affected people’s lives a lot, and in order to solve
this
problem
 they should be either banned or
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
 should just watch
way
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
movies
 and
programmes
.
Submitted by intiqam.hasanov on

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Structure
Make sure to clearly differentiate between your main points. While you've elaborated on the impact of violent films and TV programs, delineating your arguments with clear topic sentences can enhance readability and cohesion.
Support
Incorporate more varied and precise examples to strengthen your argument. While general observations are made, specific studies or statistics could provide stronger support for your claims.
Conclusion
Consider revising the conclusion for a stronger closing argument. Summarizing key points before stating your final opinion can make your stance more persuasive.
Argument
Avoid suggesting extreme measures like banning movies as the only solution. Offering a range of practical solutions can make your argument more nuanced and realistic.
Topic Relevance
You have effectively addressed the topic and provided relevant arguments concerning the impact of violent content in media.
Structure
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is well-organized.
Tone
You successfully maintain a formal tone throughout the essay, which is appropriate for academic and formal writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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