The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given charts illustrate the proportion of different

factors

Use synonyms

that make people happy in two age groups.

Overall

Linking Words

, for both groups, achievement at work was the largest segment

while

Linking Words

other

factors

Use synonyms

constituted the least. When it comes to people aged less than 30, achievement at work was the most considerable when it comes to happiness, comprising 31%.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the second largest segment was doing hobbies, with 22%.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

was having a good appearance and it stood at 18%.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the share for travelling and other

factors

Use synonyms

showed a similar proportion, with 15% and 14% respectively. With respect to people over 30, the

overall

Linking Words

trend was similar and only the percentage showed a marginal difference. 31% of the youth answered that achievement at work makes them most happy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, 25% felt the most happy

while

Linking Words

doing hobbies.

Likewise

Linking Words

, one-fifth of young individuals said that financial security makes them happy. Only 14% of the total replied that being with family is an important factor, and a tenth chose other

factors

Use synonyms

Submitted by aahhyu111 on Thu Apr 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words factors with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

169 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era , education is one of the most factor very essentials and some people think that the government should make a decision : to free fees for all university students even if their economic background is so bad . In my opinion , I completely agree and it will be discussed in the following paragraphs .
4
band
Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.
Every year amount of people migrate from one country to another various country. This essay will touch on the benefits and drawbacks of these migration in society.
<4
band
Some people think that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Z
Obviously, some people think that it is best to accept a bad decision, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of cash that individuals take. On the other hand, getting money from their part-time work helps to overcome the difficulties and problems.
4
band
«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that numerous individual having difficulties to maintain their regular life while some digital creators are being paid vast amount of money. While other believes that some possible steps should be taken by the Government to address this imbalanced issue, i supposed to be an opposite thinker.
5.5
band
some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether or not professionals should pursue their career where they completed their studies is a debatable matter. While some say that it should be obligatory to do so, others and I adhere to the belief that it is logical to let them choose themselves.

The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages of migration for the individual and for society as a whole.

Some people think that it is best to accept bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Z

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your own opinion.