The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups

The given charts illustrate the proportion of different

factors

that make people happy in two age groups.

Overall

, for both groups, achievement at work was the largest segment

while

other

factors

constituted the least. When it comes to people aged less than 30, achievement at work was the most considerable when it comes to happiness, comprising 31%.

Moreover

, the second largest segment was doing hobbies, with 22%.

Following

this

was having a good appearance and it stood at 18%.

Lastly

, the share for travelling and other

factors

showed a similar proportion, with 15% and 14% respectively. With respect to people over 30, the

overall

trend was similar and only the percentage showed a marginal difference. 31% of the youth answered that achievement at work makes them most happy.

Furthermore

, 25% felt the most happy

while

doing hobbies.

Likewise

, one-fifth of young individuals said that financial security makes them happy. Only 14% of the total replied that being with family is an important factor, and a tenth chose other

factors

Submitted by aahhyu111 on Thu Apr 11 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words factors with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

169 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that watching big events like sports and the Olympics on TV encourage adults to exercise regularly. While others disagree that there are other effective ways of getting them to exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?