IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
The significant goal of
science
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive impacts
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 particularly to improve people’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, not the
otherwise
. I strongly agree with the statement and
this
 essay will explain the justifications. Scientists have
ethical
Add an article
an ethical
show examples
 responsibility to utilise their knowledge and skills for the public. These
ethics
 are one of
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
 for every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 in university related to STEM (
Science
, Technology, Engineering, and Math).
For instance
,
students
 have to take the course as
requirement
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a requirement
show examples
 before graduate
refer
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refers
show examples
 to my experience.
This
 course will teach the
students
 about
ethics
 in
science
Add an article
the science
show examples
 industry.
Consequently
,
students
 who become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 has
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
show examples
 to implement
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethics
. The discovery of
science
 can be beyond
than
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apply
show examples
what we can imagine,
however
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethics
 can prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
to invent
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from inventing
show examples
 something which give
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
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 the public.
Furthermore
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 will
monitoring
Change the verb form
monitor
be monitoring
show examples
 the development of
science
.
For instance
, when the innovation is discovered and considered as a bad influence,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 can propose a petition to ignore the innovation. In conclusion,
science
 should
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
due to
ethics
 and public agreement.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples by providing more details or case studies to vividly illustrate your points. This would make your argument even more compelling and strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This clarity helps maintain coherence throughout your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly.
General Advice
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and work on varying sentence structures for greater lexical resource and grammatical range.
Task Achievement
You effectively answered the essay prompt with a clear stance, which demonstrates good task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is well-organized, aiding in coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The ethical responsibility of scientists is a strong and relevant point that supports your main argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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