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some say that music is as important as other subjects in school to promote learning in children life.Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#say #music #subjects #school #children #life
It is true that some claim that
music
 plays a vital role in school like other
subjects
 to encourage
children
 to learn.
While
 I accept that
music
 is necessary for effective learning as it can help to alleviate stress and tiredness,I believe that it can be a waste of
time
 and
children
 should focus on their major
subjects
. On the one hand,some contend that
music
 in school is a good way to induce minors to study.
This
 is because it can help to lessen fatigue and stress. After
children
 participate in some difficult
lessons
such
 as Mathematics ,they can feel tired and can have tension and
consequently
,they cannot focus on other major
lessons
 because of fatigue.
For example
,in many European countries, there are
music
lessons
 and it helps them to entertain and relieve tension and tiredness and
as a result
,they learn
subjects
 successfully and have a better future.
On the other hand
, I believe that teaching
music
 in schools can be a waste of
time
 and can be seen as an obstacle to effective learning. As many students are not interested in
music
 and it can distract their attention,they can waste their
time
 in vain.Learning only main
subjects
 can lay the groundwork for their future and success.
For instance
,in many parts of the world,there are many schools where
music
 or other
lessons
 that are insignificant to their profession are not taught and
as a consequence
,students do not misuse their
time
 in vain and concentrate on their main
subjects
 that are useful for their future. Taking everything into account,
while
 it is asserted by some that
music
 should be learned in schools as it plays an important role in promoting learning among
children
 and helps to relieve stress,I consider that they should concentrate on their major
subjects
 without wasting
time
.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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general
Great work on providing a balanced view on the significance of music in schools. Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, offering a nuanced take on whether music should be prioritized alongside other subjects.
coherence cohesion
To further refine your essay, consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and flow. This could make your arguments even more engaging.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to educational methodology and student psychology. This will not only enrich your argument but also demonstrate a broader lexical resource.
introduction conclusion
Effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly stating your stance while acknowledging the opposing view.
supported main points
You provided specific examples to support your main points, such as referring to European countries using music lessons to relieve stress. This strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • creativity
  • cultural awareness
  • emotional intelligence
  • social skills
  • motivational tool
  • linguistic abilities
  • physical development
  • stress relief
  • learning styles
  • holistic education
  • global citizenship
  • empathy
  • engaging
  • coordination
  • motor skills
  • special educational needs
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