some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . others belive they should be free to work in another coutnry if they wish . Discuess boh these views and give your opinion.
A group of citizens consider that doctors and engineers should find a position in their homelands, where they finish their studies,
while
others think that professionals should be free and choose their destination. I think any individual should be free and they have to follow their fate and reach their destiny.
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To begin
with, some of the population think that highly educated people need to work in their country because they have some responsibilities about options that the country had Linking Words
been
provided during their learning period. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, I do not believe Linking Words
this
method is beneficial way, because when a group of workers have a plan to go abroad and we forbid them, they will be unsatisfied, Linking Words
as a result
, in the long-term their efficiency will reduce because they feel that place is like a jail.
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On the other hand
, as a human, we all have a right to think about our own future and find a way that completely suits us so we need to look for better situations, Linking Words
such
as better salaries and developed equipment. If countries of doctors or engineers do not provide a good opportunity, gradually all the staff will look for better options in other locations ,because they have some needs and their main priority is to achieve their goals. Linking Words
In addition
, that group of experts might be not able to find new solutions because they do not have access to the latest technologies. Linking Words
For instance
, if we do not have a suitable material for developing new objects how we can flourish our talents, Linking Words
such
as if we do not have uranium how we can develop our nuclear energy? I believe the countries just make limitations for us and if a human invents or cures some issue the profit of that achievement will impact the world so just working in the homeland is a useless concept.
In conclusion, two groups of communities assume that expert workers have to find an occupation in their country , Linking Words
nonetheless
, others view is opposite. In my view, it is a beneficial method to work anywhere despite locations because some better opportunities will make our lives more comfortable, Linking Words
additionally
, it is not important that development occurs where because at Linking Words
last
, it will spread all over the world.Linking Words
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is good. However, it could be improved by providing more balanced coverage of both views before stating your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be stronger. Specifically, your conclusion could more effectively summarize the points made and tie them back to your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the logical flow, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Try to include concrete, relevant examples that directly relate to the topic at hand.
Task Achievement
You effectively convey your personal viewpoint throughout the essay, ensuring that your position on the subject is clear.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally logical, with a clear progression from introduction to body paragraphs to conclusion. This helps in maintaining the coherence of the discussion.