The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organizations #people #leader

Nowadays, most companies tend to choose their managers between older

people

However

, some individuals argue that youngsters can be leaders too. I strongly agree that experienced

people

can be more constructive than younger ones. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion more. On the one hand,

firstly

, it is obvious that if we trust knowledgeable

people

, we will be able to decrease our mistakes.

In other words

, older

people

can manage businesses properly regarding their appropriate knowledge in terms of the working environment.

Secondly

, if we opt them for our organization, we will be able to guarantee our success.

For example

, in the USA, most corporations prefer to hire experienced workers. They think that

this

attitude can help them to increase their marginal benefits.

On the other hand

, critics assume that we have to provide an effective path for the younger generations. They argue that we need to teach them how they will be able to promote their businesses effectively.

However

, I strongly believe that elderly managers can assist the younger ones in identifying managerial risk

due to

their job experience.

Moreover

, they can pay attention to how we will be able to employ junior employees.

For instance

, in India, start-ups would like to improve their income through highly experienced chiefs. In conclusion, it would be a great idea if we hired someone who has enough knowledge and experience as a manager, since it will guarantee our success and business. I totally agree that older directors are more effective than younger ones.

Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on Mon Sep 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and supports it with logical arguments. However, the argumentation can be deepened to explore the potential benefits young leaders might bring, even if the stance remains in favor of older leaders. This will help showcase a more balanced understanding and acknowledgment of the opposite side.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, it can be improved by adding more explicit topic sentences and transition words to enhance the flow of ideas. This will make the essay easier to follow and more cohesive.

task achievement

The essay includes specific examples, such as references to practices in the USA and India, which help support the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that explore the main arguments, and concludes with a summary of the main points.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

strategic foresight
emotional intelligence
demographics
innovative
mentorship
collaboration
adaptability
networking
holistic approach
intergenerational
visionary
inspire
progressive
technological acumen
agility

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