IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with co-workers while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some folks enjoy spending their free
time
Use synonyms
 with
co-workers
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
other
group
Change the wording
groups
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 choose to keep their private activities and
work
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 separated. On the one hand, spending after-workwork
time
Use synonyms
 with the
job
Use synonyms
's place colleagues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could build better
relationships
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, which will make working together more enjoyable. In every career path person
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to co-
work
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 with other
people
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, having good
relationships
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 with the
job
Use synonyms
 folks makes communication quality at a higher level,
moreover
Linking Words
 improves teamwork. During
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours is hard to get to know
co-workers
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, and
due to
Linking Words
 that the only way to build friendships is to spend leisure
time
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 together. The best example that shows the truth of
this
Linking Words
 thesis is workshops that take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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place in the majority of companies.
Menagers
Correct your spelling
Managers
 are organising
this
Linking Words
 kind of team meeting after working hours
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it improves working quality by making employees closer to each other. Spending leisure
time
Use synonyms
 with
job
Use synonyms
 colleagues is profitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 working together and the company itself. On the other hand, keeping a
Correct your spelling
work-life
work
Use synonyms
-lifelife balance is important to feel well,
although
Linking Words
 spending free
time
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 with
co-workers
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, resamble about
work
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, which makes keeping the balance quite harder.
People
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 to build
relationships
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 need something in common to talk about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, with friends from the workplace
this
Linking Words
 topic is the same
job
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. Spending eight or more hours at
work
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 and
then
Linking Words
 talking with
people
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 about
work
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 makes thinking about other things quite impossible, in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 a
job
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the centre of
Correct article usage
a
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person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 life can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
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burnout. Taking medical workers
for example
Linking Words
, their
work
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 is emotionally heavy, spend
after
Add a hyphen
after-work
show examples
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with other doctors and
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
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 about patients, causing the
patient's
Change noun form
patients'
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 problems the main thing in
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Being overwhelmed by workplace stories and personal stories of patients
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
makes the quality of treating
people
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's diseases poorer and leads to a lack of self-esteem.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I see both bright and dark sides of spending leisure
time
Use synonyms
 with
co-workers
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, sometimes it makes working easier through good
relationships
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,
Correct word choice
and
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sometimes it makes employees overwhelmed by their jobs. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is better to care about
Correct your spelling
work-life
work
Use synonyms
-lifelife balance than spend free
time
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 from the workplace.

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General
It's important to double-check your essay for typographical errors and repetitive phrases to improve readability and professionalism. Also, varying your sentence structures can make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, try to include more specific examples that directly support your points. Real-life cases or statistics can significantly enhance your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively. This will help readers understand your stance and the structure of your argument.
Content Balance
You've done a great job presenting both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay shows a good understanding of the subject, with clear main points that are relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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