Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with co-workers while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some folks enjoy spending their free other sometimes it makes employees overwhelmed by their jobs. In my
time
with co-workers
,Correct word choice
and
group
of Change the wording
groups
people
choose to keep their private activities and work
life
separated.
On the one hand, spending after-workwork Fix the agreement mistake
lives
time
with the job
's place colleagues,
could build better Remove the comma
apply
relationships
, which will make working together more enjoyable. In every career path person need
to co-Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
work
with other people
, having good relationships
with the job
folks makes communication quality at a higher level, moreover
improves teamwork. During the
working hours is hard to get to know Correct article usage
apply
co-workers
, and due to
that the only way to build friendships is to spend leisure time
together. The best example that shows the truth of this
thesis is workshops that take a
place in the majority of companies. Correct article usage
apply
Menagers
are organising Correct your spelling
Managers
this
kind of team meeting after working hours,
because it improves working quality by making employees closer to each other. Spending leisure Remove the comma
apply
time
with job
colleagues is profitable to
Change preposition
for
people
working together and the company itself.
On the other hand, keeping aCorrect your spelling
work-life
work
-lifelife balance is important to feel well, although
spending free time
with co-workers
, resamble about work
, which makes keeping the balance quite harder. People
to build relationships
need something in common to talk about it
, with friends from the workplace Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
topic is the same job
. Spending eight or more hours at work
and then
talking with people
about work
makes thinking about other things quite impossible, in addition
a Add a comma
addition,
job
in
the centre ofChange preposition
at
Correct article usage
a
person
life can causeChange noun form
person's
a
burnout. Taking medical workers Remove the article
apply
for example
, their work
is emotionally heavy, spend after
Add a hyphen
after-work
work
time
with other doctors and talking
about patients, causing theWrong verb form
talk
patient's
problems the main thing inChange noun form
patients'
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
life
. Being overwhelmed by workplace stories and personal stories of patientsFix the agreement mistake
lives
,
makes the quality of treating Remove the comma
apply
people
's diseases poorer and leads to a lack of self-esteem.
To conclude
, I see both bright and dark sides of spending leisure time
with co-workers
, sometimes it makes working easier through good relationships
,Correct word choice
and
opinion
it is better to care aboutAdd a comma
opinion,
Correct your spelling
work-life
work
-lifelife balance than spend free time
with people
from the workplace.Submitted by a.swietochowska11 on
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General
It's important to double-check your essay for typographical errors and repetitive phrases to improve readability and professionalism. Also, varying your sentence structures can make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, try to include more specific examples that directly support your points. Real-life cases or statistics can significantly enhance your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively. This will help readers understand your stance and the structure of your argument.
Content Balance
You've done a great job presenting both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay shows a good understanding of the subject, with clear main points that are relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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