It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that nowadays
children
are learning situation differences between right and wrong at an early age. In my opinion, punishment is unnecessary
to realize
Verb problem
because
show examples
kids learn it and adults should provide an opportunity for them to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility which may be even better, compared to violence. On the one hand, in previous times, youngsters were more likely to behave
independent
Change the adjective
independently
show examples
earlier, because of their strict parents, they were looked after
within
Change preposition
with
show examples
difficult principles.
Due to
inherence
Correct article usage
the inherence
show examples
of
this
trend, in modern life, there are still some folks who bring up their
children
through deniable conditions,
such
as limiting their mobile consumption or
understemating
Correct your spelling
underestimating
understating
about personal features.
On the other hand
, it is more important to punish kids who do not have any knowledge of which is bad or good and it is much more beneficial to communicate with their
children
openly.
Via having
Correct word choice
Having
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
and spending time to discover hidden
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
that many parents utilize, are efficient for both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
and there are numerous advantageous consequences.
For instance
,
children
whose grandparents or parents do not have difficulty
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, tend to become
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
.
To sum up
, as far as I am concerned, it is not a
significance
Replace the word
significant
show examples
idea for
children
to help them learn aspects.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is their duty to teach them, it is possible to understand
distinction
Add an article
the distinction
show examples
at an early age
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to clarify your main points by explicitly stating your view on the topic and by presenting your arguments in a more structured manner. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific examples and detailed explanations to better support your opinions. Consider adding real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points.
General Advice
Work on the clarity of your arguments. Sometimes, your ideas could benefit from being more straightforward and easier to follow by avoiding complex sentences that might confuse the reader.
Structure
You have a good understanding of the essay structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay touches on important aspects of the topic, showing that you understand the complexity of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: