IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While some people like to live at home, other people think that living in an apartment has more advantages. Discuss both views.

#people #home #apartment
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Everyone has a choice of accommodation to live in, depending on different reasons.
Although
Linking Words
 some individuals choose to stay in a
house
Use synonyms
, other
people
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 believe that staying in an
apartment
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 has many benefits. In my own view, I think living in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
apartment
Use synonyms
 has a lot of merits. Many
people
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 claim that one of the best advantages of living in a home is freedom. They say that when you live in a
house
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, you enjoy the freedom of getting into and out of the
house
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 without any restrictions or rules .
For example
Linking Words
, there is no specific time to enter or exit the
house
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 , unlike other
apartments
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 where
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main gates are closed during some hours.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 argue many available
apartments
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 are serviced
apartments
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. They articulate that when you move
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 an
apartment
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 you don't have to buy furniture as you only need to carry your personal belongings
such
Linking Words
 as clothes and blankets, because they will be fully furnished.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
apartments
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 have
wardropes
Correct your spelling
wardrobes
, stoves and washing machines. I personally side with those
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 claim that living in an
apartment
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 has many benefits even though some of them are governed by strict and harsh rules. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 choose to reside at home, others think that an
apartment
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 has more pros. From my point of view
apartments
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 are the best.
Submitted by dubeallen10 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to discuss both views equally and extensively to fully address the task requirement.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and personal experiences to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This can enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to explore the disadvantages of each option to provide a more balanced view before stating your preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction clearly sets up the discussion on both living situations, effectively outlining the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of paragraphing to separate distinct ideas, aiding the essay's overall structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and clearly states your personal stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfort
  • familiarity
  • privacy
  • investment
  • customization
  • personalization
  • convenience
  • maintenance
  • security
  • amenities
  • residential complexes
  • surveillance
  • communal areas
  • upkeep
  • modify
  • decoration
  • investment value
  • belonging
  • enhanced security
What to do next:
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