IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #food #development
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With the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way . Over the past few decades, the Lifestyle of people has changed a lot In the midst of change , communities are more interested in ready-to-eat
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as fast
food
Use synonyms
 than healthy home-cooked foods . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion .
This
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 seems pretty controversial across the globe. A colossal number of folks believe eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 or ready-to-eat
food
Use synonyms
 is bad for our health . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the rationale for both sides
as well as
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 proffer examples to my thinking .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Task Achievement
Expand your essay to include specific advantages and disadvantages related to the trend of consuming ready-to-eat food, discussing both sides thoroughly before making a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Introduce clear main ideas for each paragraph, followed by relevant examples or explanations to support those ideas, ensuring that every part of your response is directly related to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly and enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in achieving better cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction sets up a broad framework for discussing the topic, indicating an awareness of the complex nature of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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