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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree?

#health #exercise
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Fitness and
well being
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well-being
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 are directly related to each other. Many people believe that exercising is the main way to be healthy,
while
 many others argue that sleeping properly and a balanced diet are required.
Then
, I staunchly believe that not only
practicing
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practising
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 physical activities but
also
quality
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the quality
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 of intaken
are
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is
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 vital. To start with, it is well-known that daily exercise
have
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has
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 many benefits, namely decreasing cardiovascular risk, improvement of chronic diseases like primary hypertension and diabetes, etc.
According to
 the evidence given by the WHO, 150 minutes of effective exercise weekly are required, in which maximal heart rate
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to be reached during the practices in order to increase metabolic rate and total energy expenditure.
Then
, the above-mentioned techniques have been
proved
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proven
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 as either prevention or treatment of many
illness
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illnesses
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, including metabolic, mental and musculoskeletal conditions.
Nevertheless
, there are other factors that are crucial to enhance health promotion
as well as
 disease prevention, one of the foremost is food. Undoubtedly,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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high-quality daily consumption has shown
dramatical
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dramatic
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 enhancements
among
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in
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 life expectancy with
reduction
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a reduction
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 of complications
such
 as renal chronic and stroke diseases.
For example
, in a documental called "You are what you eat", in which many variables were studied in twins to avoid genetically expressions that could lead to bias in the results, were
proving
Wrong verb form
proved
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 that a well-rounded eating plan with vitamins, macronutrients, and minerals revitalize our bodies.
To sum up
, wellness is a recipe in which many ingredients should be considered, and
although
excersing
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exercise
 is one of the elements
that is
location
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located
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 at the acme, ingestion of proper food in amount, quality and range of nutrients
are
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is
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 crucial to guarantee
quality
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the quality
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 of life.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Ensure every paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. This helps strengthen your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs; this enhances the flow of your essay.
general
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos; this will improve the overall readability.
task achievement
You've effectively used examples and evidence to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were clear and effective, setting up your argument and summarizing your position well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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