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Band 4

The amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

#amount #money #children #charity #usa #year
The data illustrate information about the
percentage
 of the amount of money that children’s charities raised in the USA in 2016.
Overall
, the children’s charity
percentage
 in the USA There are many percentages: in
revenue
 sources, the largest
percentage
 is donated food,
while
 the lowest
percentage
 is investment. In expenditures, the largest
percentage
 is program services,
while
 the lowest
percentage
 is management and general.
Revenue
 sources in 2016, donated food showed the largest
percentage
 was 86.6% during the period. Community contributions were the second largest
percentage
, at 10.4%, and program
revenue
 was 2.2%. Other income was 0.4%. Investment income was 0.2%, and government grants were 0.2%; they had the same
percentage
. The total of
revenue
 sources was $53,561,580. Expenditures in 2016 for program services showed the largest
percentage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
95.8%. Fundraising had the second-largest
percentage
 of 2.6. Management and general had the lowest
percentage
, at 1.6%. Total expenses were $53,224,896.
Submitted by tyfm925 on

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Introduction Enhancement
Work on expanding your introduction to more clearly set the stage for your analysis. A sentence or two to introduce the charity's context or importance could enhance your overview.
Conclusion Addition
Try to include a concluding statement to summarize your findings and emphasize the significance of the data presented. This will provide a clear closure to your essay.
Sentence Structure & Transition
Varied sentence structures and more transitional phrases could enhance the flow of your argument, making it easier for readers to follow your analysis.
Analysis Depth
Integrate more detailed analysis and comparison between different data points to deepen the insight into the charity's financial operations.
Key Features Identification
Effectively identified key features and trends in the data, providing a clear overview of the charity's finances.
Evidence-Based Approach
Used data effectively to support main points, giving the essay a strong evidence-based approach.
Topic Relevance
Maintained focus on the topic, successfully avoiding irrelevant information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
What to do next:
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