Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, there is a growing trend of considering that
space
tourism
could be developed in the
future
. At the same time, there is some uncertainty as to the
merit
Fix the agreement mistake
merits
show examples
and
demerit
Fix the agreement mistake
demerits
show examples
of
this
development
. In
this
essay, I will examine both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.
To begin
with, enterprising spirit is something we human beings inherent in our nature, the process of striving to make
space
tourism
available itself is something that reflects
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our
development
or even evolution.
Additionally
, by developing
space
tourism
, more scientific and technological breakthroughs will be achieved and applied during the process. In
this
way, the exploration itself serves as a catalyst for
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
innovation of cutting-edge technologies.
Furthermore
, once
space
tourism
comes to fruition, it will be possible for us to
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
for more resources that can be used as replacements to those
founded
Change the form of the verb
found
show examples
on Earth, or even
tracing
Wrong verb form
trace
show examples
the existence of extraterrestrial lives, which will definitely pose a positive impact on human
development
.
On the other hand
,
however
,
such
development
will certainly cast huge burdens on each
countries'
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country's
show examples
budget. With so many issues
remained
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remaining
show examples
unsolved at home,
for example
, hunger, pollution,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
disparities, it is hard to imagine investing large amounts of money
on
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in
show examples
such
venture
Correct article usage
a venture
show examples
. What's more, even if it turns
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
reality in the
future
, the huge cost of
space
tourism
will only constrain it to those billionaires to experience,
thus
further
incorporates
Wrong verb form
incorporating
show examples
the
space
into the realm of capitalism.
Also
, it is uncertain whether the
space
is as safe as we predict now, maybe the truth is that there are numerous
civilization
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civilizations
show examples
hostile to us outside.
Space
travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that
space
tourism
could be developed in the
future
. Do you think it is a positive or negative
development
?To summarize,
space
tourism
might have
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
positive impact in the
future
,
however
, there's going to be a long way to go before we can make an assertion. Compared to dedicating all the investment
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
space
tourism
, it would be wiser to focus more on addressing the global challenges.
Submitted by nightrkatsiteli on

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Task Achievement
For task achievement, try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your ideas. This will help in articulating your arguments in a more compelling manner.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and logical flow; however, to further enhance coherence, you may want to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for a more seamless read.
Coherence & Cohesion
It's beneficial to occasionally revisit your introduction and conclusion to ensure they are compelling and reflective of your essay's main ideas. This strengthens your overall argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the scene for the discussion, engaging the reader right from the start.
Task Achievement
The essay showcases a good balance in discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a complete response.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've demonstrated an ability to articulate a complex topic in a structured manner, reflecting good logical structure throughout your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
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