IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? It is probably true to say that most people believe that a university degree is the only way to get a good job.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I think
this
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 is true in certain areas,
while
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 in other areas, a
degree
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 is not as useful.
To begin
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 with, many people have ambitions to become a qualified professional and there is no doubt that becoming a doctor or a lawyer,
for example
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, is only possible with a
degree
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. Another advantage of graduating from
university
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 is that it gives you more choices when it comes to choosing a
job
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. Most employers will be more impressed by a candidate who has a
degree
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 than they would be by one who only has high school qualifications because it shows a certain level of intelligence and education,
as well as
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 the commitment and self-discipline
that is
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 needed in order to study a
degree
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 course for three or four years.
On the other hand
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, there might be some benefits to starting your career early, especially if your chosen field is one which does not typically require a
university
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 education.
This
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 would apply to somebody who wants to be a car mechanic, or a fashion designer,
for instance
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, who would not necessarily gain anything from going to
university
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. The hands-on experience you gain in your
job
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while
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 others are studying for a
degree
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 can give you a distinct advantage. So,
to conclude
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, it is possible to get a good
job
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 without going to
university
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. Having said that, some professions,
such
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 as the law, require you to have a
degree
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 and as stated above a
university
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degree
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 could potentially open more doors when looking for a
job
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.

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Language use
Aim to diversify vocabulary to enhance expression and avoid repetition. This could make arguments more compelling and the language more varied.
Specific examples
While including specific examples is great, aiming for more varied and detailed instances could strengthen the argument further, especially in supporting your stance on the topic.
Introduction clarity
Consider adding a short introductory sentence that directly addresses the essay question, providing a clearer stance from the beginning.
Logical structure
Your essay logically presents both views on the importance of university education for securing good jobs, maintaining a balanced and well-structured discussion throughout.
Cohesion
You've effectively used transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly, making your essay coherent and easy to follow.
Effective conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points, clearly stating your overall stance. This rounds off the essay well, reinforcing your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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