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Band 8.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #countries
Various controversies have emerged as to whether professionals should work in other states.
While
 many people think that professional workers owe a debt to the country they trained in, I believe that they should be free to work where they choose because they can earn more money. On the one hand, professionals often receive considerable funding from their government to become fully qualified. It is only fair that they should repay
this
 subsidy by working in that place.
This
 is because they often do jobs that greatly benefit society, and
this
 is why their government invested in them in the first place. Take Taiwan as an example; the government spends millions of TWD training junior doctors through university tuition fees and training programs.
On the other hand
, every individual should have the opportunity to reach their maximum potential. Those employed in the professions are some of the world’s most highly skilled employees.
Thus
, they are in huge demand in the labour market. There is a global market for their skills, and they can command much higher salaries by moving abroad. If they were blocked from doing so, it would be a substantial financial drawback for the individual.
For instance
, software engineers can make hundreds of thousands of dollars more in well-paid countries,
such
 as the US, compared to remaining in Asia. In my opinion, I totally agree that individuals have the right to work wherever they please, regardless of any nationalistic considerations. By way of conclusion, though there is a tremendous amount of investment in a professional’s development, I firmly believe that people should have the right to choose whether to repay that by working in their home state or moving to a region that pays them the highest value for their skills.
Submitted by weber61543 on

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Task Achievement
While the essay presents a balanced view on the topic with a clear personal stance at the end, consider exploring more deeply the counterarguments to provide a richer discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Phrases that clearly signal your shift from describing one viewpoint to the other and then to your own opinion would help clarify the structure of your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly addresses the prompt, offering a balanced discussion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Uses specific examples effectively to support the main points, enhancing the argument's persuasive power.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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