Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people assume that Correct article usage
apply
poverty
exerts an increasingly negative influence on children
and society these days. There are some impacts can
be shown Correct pronoun usage
that can
due to
poverty
and there are several solutions to alleviate this
issue.
To begin
with, poverty
can cause several problems to
Change preposition
for
children
and society. First of all, the growth and development of children
can be distracted due to
poverty
. Children
have to take care solely of basic things such
as sanitation, their health and more instead
of finding their interests or dreaming of their future, leading to the deprivation of opportunities for children
. In addition
, the enhancement of countries
is not achieved because of poverty
. It is impossible for governments and authorities to invest a huge amount of money in the industry of infrastructure, healthcare, welfare and more. For example
, the difference of
developing Change preposition
between
countries
and developed countries
shows
Change the verb form
show
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
significant
different results based on each Change the word
significantly
countries’
financial Change noun form
country’s
situations
.
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
Nevertheless
, there are several ways to tackle this
issue. Firstly
, developing countries
, especially are suffering from poverty
, have to try their best to find the industry which can be developed. If they commence to improve the specific industry in order to solve a poverty
issue, there will be a lot of possibilities that they can escape from poverty
. For example
, the government of South Korea had decided to improve the field of manufacturing in order to develop the country after Korean
Add an article
the Korean
war
. Capitalize word
War
As a result
of their decisions, South Korea could become one of the richest countries
all over the world nowadays. Moreover
, many rich countries
worldwide should cooperate each
other Change preposition
with each
for helping
poor Change preposition
to help
countries
. Poor countries
have the right to live well along together on this
planet. Therefore
, assisting with
poor Change preposition
apply
countries
is one of the responsibilities for
rich Change preposition
of
countries
.
In conclusion, governments of developed countries
and developing countries
should work together to alleviate poverty
. It is imperative for everyone to live well together on earth for the sake of everyone’s happiness.Submitted by dmdql2708 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which enhances the overall coherence and cohesion of your response. To improve further, try to ensure a more seamless flow of ideas between paragraphs with varied and well-structured sentence transitions.
task achievement
You've done well to answer the task by discussing the effects of poverty on society and suggesting solutions. For an even stronger response, consider adding more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. This could include statistics, studies, or more specific real-world examples that lend weight to your arguments.
task achievement
You've clearly addressed both parts of the question - discussing the effects of poverty and suggesting solutions, which meets the task achievement criteria well.
coherence cohesion
The organization of your essay into paragraphs for discussing problems and providing solutions shows good logical structure and helps in making your argument clear and understandable.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...