IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate information about occupation in one European country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the UK experienced different percentages during the period:
men
Use synonyms
 full-time showed a decreased
percentage
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 showed an increase;
men
Use synonyms
 part-time showed an upward
percentage
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 showed a decrease. In 1988, the largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of full-time
workers
Use synonyms
 was
men
Use synonyms
 reaching 53%,
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 reached 19%, the difference between them was 34%. The largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 was
women
Use synonyms
 reached 22%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
men
Use synonyms
 reached 6%, the difference between them was 16%. Total number during the period = 23,839. In 2012, the largest of full-time
workers
Use synonyms
 was for
men
Use synonyms
 achieved 47%, which declined by 6% compared to 1988,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 achieved 26%,
rose
Correct pronoun usage
which rose
show examples
 by 7%. The largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 was
women
Use synonyms
 achieved 20%, which dropped by 2% compared to 1988,
although
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 achieved 7, which grew by 1%. Total number during the period = 29,600 rose by 5761 compared to 1988.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, percentage, women, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • economic landscape
  • information technology
  • service industry
  • manufacturing
  • agriculture
  • sector shift
  • healthcare sector
  • public administration
  • education sector
  • advancements in technology
  • traditional industries
  • modern sectors
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